Passionate and Creative Homemaking

Still goodbye, but an update

2013-05-04T20:03:00.001-04:00

Hi Ladies,

My last post a few months ago I was saying goodbye. I battled so much with the computer and balancing my time with my family. I was in a very bad spot. I am still "gone" but I want to give a little update and share something I have learned along the way.

As you know, I stopped blogging. I had other duties online, such as 2 book clubs I ran, my facebook page...never mind commenting on blogs, joining linky parties, trying to increase my blog's followers and so on.

I was ALWAYS on the computer and if I wasn't, my mind was mentally there.

Well I can say that I can walk away from the computer for DAYS at a time. It has no baring on my life. I can't begin to tell you how freeing it is.

I was going through my journal starting a few years back. I can't believe how much I complained about my struggles with computers, schedules and cleaning.The whole time I was blogging I never once wrote in my journal. I love journaling since I was a teenager. Since I stopped blogging I have come back full force with my journaling. And you know what?...it's FREEING!!!

To write what I REALLY want to say without any fear of anyone misunderstanding me, taking offense, having to explain myself, trying to get that blog post "out there" and so on is freeing. I'm free to be me, to write whatever I want, whenever I want. I battled with perfection with my journal...I'm done with that as well. Now I have a binder for it. Most of the time I type it out because I type a whole lot faster. I keep a word document titled "journal" on my laptop. I write in it and when I get to about 10 or so pages, I print it out and put it in my binder. If, I get the urge to handwrite out something, I do that as well and put it in my journal/binder. Most bloggers enjoy writing. My enjoyment with it has increased 10 folds since I'm only writing in my journal.

I no longer have ANYTHING in my life that is pulling me from my husband, my kids, or my home. I have no activities going on...nothing. I don't HAVE TO do anything except the basics at home. It is wonderful!!

Now for the scheduling...I'm done with that too. I've battled for years with it! Not anymore. I have a rhythm...that's it. I don't battle with cleaning anymore. God has changed my husband's heart with A LOT of things and he now sees where I come from. I clean because I want to because it blesses me and my family.

I can't begin to tell you how much I've changed. God is so awesome!!

I found my church home and I love it. Never in my life have I gone to church and have time fly by so fast!!

We are finally getting a second vehicle so I'll be able to get out of the house.

My oldest son has been approved of K12 - online public school. Next year my youngest will start Kindergarten with K12.

God has been bringing me to a more feminine place. I also have recently grew a huge interest in flowers, gardening and homesteading

MY HONEST ADVICE TO YOU:
If you have struggled like I did, I want to truly challenge you (and it may be a challenge in the beginning) to put the computer down or at least most of it. Think about it.
I don't read many blogs anymore..and I definitely don't read Christian blogs or homemaking blogs anymore (except 2 that I am friends with the writers). I have no input or influence in my life except my family, the Bible and church. That is such a great place to be I can't even begin to tell you!! It is so freeing to live without other people's opinion...whether it is comments on your blog or reading other people's blog posts. I can hear God's direction 10 times better. I have more time to do everything!!! "FREEING" IS NOT A STRONG ENOUGH WORD! I highly suggest it.

If you can't tell...my "goodbye" is now permanent. I want to thank all of those who have read my blog, especially those who have stuck around for over a year. You have taught me a lot!

God bless you all!!

Goodbye...for now

2013-02-15T08:30:00.000-05:00

Hi Ladies,

I have come to the decision to stop blogging. I can't seem to find the balance in my life anymore and I need to trim away EVERYTHING that does not involve my family. That means this blog, my book club, and a few other things as well. My family has to come first.

I am not deleting this blog, instead I went through the whole thing and deleted any non-important posts. I went from about 300 posts to under 80. There are some that I just can NOT delete due to obligational reasons (ex: book reviews - I got free books in exchange for the reviews and other ad type things). I have listed all my posts on the right hand side of this blog with a link to each of them.

As I was looking back through my old posts and saw the things that I THOUGHT I was healed from it made me realize that something was wrong. I am NOT healed from them. Maybe I had a little layer of healing, but not complete healing. I'm not letting go until God changes me! And I mean truly CHANGES ME!! Reading through my old posts I see how they just flow through me out onto the screen. I don't have that anymore right now. I truly believe that God has instructed me to take a break...a good long break....even for a couple years or so. I think He lifted His anointing off of it because everything has become effort...there is no ease to it at all...a good sign He wants me to stop.

Many of you find my honesty refreshing. But I have to ask myself, "At what point can I succeed?" If I'm always being "real" and showing that homemaking isn't always easy...when can I truly conquer my struggles? I want to be real to make people realize that they aren't alone in their hard times but at what point can I get above that and truly be done with them? I don't want to always be in the homemaking hospital, so to speak. I want to get to the point where I have checked out from the hospital, totally healed, and can go on and tell others how to get their healing!

I noticed that I was rushing to find answers to my problems so I can post about it on here...only thing is...I didn't give God time to answer...so I made up my own answers, THINKING it was God. It's time I really dig in and live the life that HE wants me to live and move on. I'm tired of all these emotional struggles!

I also need to get every form of input into my life, out. It has gotten to the point where I don't even think for myself! It's what I read on this blog, and in this book and so on. I want it to just be me and God.

I'm battling other issues that have popped up as well and just really need to focus on my living quarters and my life. I can't help or minister to anyone if I'm broken!

I have absolutely no idea what God has in store for me. I WANT to blog, but I don't know exactly when I would start again. Maybe I won't be part of a blog at all...maybe I will be with people I actually see. I've always wanted to have a Bible Study right at my home. Maybe I'll be doing something with my church. I don't know. God isn't even HINTING at me with a possibility. I just have no clue.

If you want to be notified if and when I start up again, I suggest you sign up for my emails on the left side of my blog. That way if I start writing again, you'll get notified.

Until then...I pray God blesses you on your homemaking journey!

A new kind of rut

2013-02-15T06:27:00.000-05:00

So I've been going through some things lately.

I really hate when I can't quite figure out the true root of the problem.

I don't even know really where to start. I've been battling with anxiety but more recently it's been more depression. Maybe it's the winter blues (I get them every year).

Part of me is tired of everything...even little things. I'm tired of the TV. I'm tired of music. I'm tired of reading, I'm tired of being home all day, I'm tired of the Bible, as bad as that sounds (although I'm not really having too many issues with God right now).

Then there are more bigger things.

I'm tired of cleaning. Yesterday I cleaned all day...I mean ALL day. Before going to bed, I wanted to cry. In fact I did cry....I sobbed to the point I almost couldn't breathe. After seeing popcorn, pretzels and graham crackers thrown all on the floor in the living room by my 3 year old (after cleaning all day to the point I needed to shower) I couldn't take it anymore. Because of him and a couple relatives who are temporarily living with us...I just can't keep this house clean. It is driving me nuts. Since hubby recently explained to me that his expectations aren't nearly as high as I thought they were, I'm now free to clean because *I* want too. Only thing is, I'm turning into a neat freak. The house being messy keeps me anxious. I want it cleaned.

Now I didn't just sob over the spilled snacks...nope. There has been a tsunami brewing way across my inner emotions and it has finally made land.

I can't get into the details of it all because it involves family. But let's just say after constantly cleaning up after people I shouldn't be, and all the extra responsibilities that I should NOT be having, on top of the responsibilities that I DO have, I just lost it.

Yesterday I needed a break. I wanted to go to the library to relax. Well that turned into me having to run to the bank, run to CVS for a prescription, get gas, get stuff for dinner and during all that my little one kept having hissy fits in the backseat. My trip to the library just ended up with me returning stuff in their return slot.

When I got home, we had dinner. I was in the bedroom talking to my husband and my niece. When we walked out we found our dog sitting on one of the dining room chairs and EATING my niece's dinner right off her plate on the table!!!!

Afterwards, I looked through the mail. We received yet ANOTHER $450 electric bill (normally it's around $250 - we have electric heat). Every little tactic we do to save money on our bill has not been working. We are already struggling financially!! It just keeps getting higher and higher. After opening the bill, I started loading the dishwasher and then got aggravated because they wouldn't all fit (I hate having to leave dishes in the sink and I was already upset so having to wash them put another nail in the coffin.) Then I realized the TV was left on so I went in the living room to turn it off and THAT is when I found the snacks on the floor.

I've been having a lot of "WHY BOTHER?" type thoughts.

Another thing that has been going on is I feel something shifting. Not quite sure what God is up to but something is changing. When I tried homeschooling my son for first grade, I tried so desperately to get involved with other homeschoolers. I created a group and everything. NOTHING I did worked. I mean nothing. I was so frustrated. Well now it is totally different (for those who don't know - my son is now in 2nd grade public school and next year we are homeschooling again - well technically it's online public school, but I still believe that is homeschooling since you are doing school AT HOME).

In the span of maybe 2 weeks, I have met 3 new moms that have boys my son's age. Two of those boys are doing the same schooling that I will be doing with my son. AND on top of that, one of those moms is part of a CO-OP group in the area I live in! It's like God has opened the doors in that area and I'm thrilled.

So there are some positives going around.

But that isn't the only shift.

I'm not too sure what's going on with this...

I'm starting to focus more inward. Not on myself...but my life, my family and my home. I have blogged for YEARS. Before making this blog I took a 6 month break and really believed God called me to do this one. I even spent money on the template. This has been my most "serious" blog.

I have been having some issues with the idea of blogging. I'm getting tired of putting myself out there. I run a woman's group where we chat online. I wasn't having peace about certain things, and I shared them with the group. My mind never stops running, therefore I'm always changing things, including the group. To others who don't think like I do, they just don't get it. Well I had a couple women leave because of it. I was originally upset, and then I got over it.

Or so I thought.

I'm over it, but the REASON they left has been messing with me.

A LOT.

It has crossed over to the blog. If people would leave a group because of it, then I must be annoying my readers.

I was all gung-ho about being this PASSIONATE homemaker when I came off my blog break. But now I'm back in a rut....a rut I've never been in.

How can I lead other women when I can't seem to get my act together?

And then if I want to talk about it on here, I feel like all I do is complain.

A part of me wants to quit blogging.

The last book review I have done will be my last one. I have put so many demands on myself over things that don't bless me or my family. And if the book club I created isn't active, I'm getting rid of that too.

It's really discouraging to me when I write a post...especially one that I worked hard on, and dealt with a lot of interruptions and see that only 8 people have read it. I have over 100 followers and over 300 facebook fans/likes. How is it only 8 people see a post?

And when you think of it...who are these 8 people? Those "interruptions" were my kids!! I'm going to put them to the side for these 8 people I don't even know?!!! That's the "inward" stuff I'm talking about.

A part of me can't imagine what my life would be like if I didn't have any other demands on my time. To not HAVE TO read a certain book (whether for a review or club). To NOT have to come up with something to blog about - especially when I'm totally NOT in the mood to discuss homemaking. I feel two-faced. A week ago I wrote a post titled Having a Heart for Homemaking. Okay...I didn't WRITE it a week ago, I just scheduled it to post then. I actually wrote it in December when I was in my happy go lucky homemaking bliss.

I don't know.

I'm not making any decisions right now because I would be making them with emotions. But at the same time I'm not sure if THAT'S true. Is God leading me to put the blog down? Or is Satan trying to stop God's work through me on this blog?

I don't know.

Please pray God shows me.

I don't want to fill my blog with negativity.

Many of you have made comments saying that my honesty is refreshing.

But at what point will my "freshness" stale up?

Accepting Who You Are

2013-02-13T01:00:00.000-05:00

Do any of you battle with yourself?

You think you should act a certain way, or sound a certain way, or even think a certain way....but you just don't seem to be able to?

Every now and then I battle with this...and sometimes for a long period of time.

First and foremost, I believe this is an attack from Satan. If he can get you to feel bad about yourself, then you are only focusing on yourself, and then you can't really do any work for God.

I had to fight off this attack recently. I have been reading a lot of other Christian type blogs and I love them.

But then these thoughts kept coming to me:

Look at how elegantly they write

Look at how inspirational and deep they are

I can't compete with that. I don't write that deep. I don't even THINK that deep.

Look at how peaceful they write - sometimes I just sound like I'm mad all the time

On an on these thoughts went. After about a half hour of them, I felt inadequate to even be a Christian blogger!

But then God showed me that HE made me this way. We all have different personalities.

Yes, many who know me in real life would say I'm reserved. I'm not loud and obnoxious. I don't make a scene...I HATE being the center of attention. I hate confrontation and drama.

On the other hand one thing I totally am NOT is phony. I can't put on an act...I really am horrible at it. I can't pretend to like someone. I have no time to really care what someone else thinks of me.

I have been told that I'm outspoken.

Another blogger described me as bold.

I never thought of myself as bold or outspoken. In fact part of me is a coward. I don't stand up for myself when I should and I back down too easily. I was always the quiet shy kid in class. But I do just put things out there and say what I think (within reason of course). To me this is normal. To others I have balls lol. I also have a good sense of humor.

I am a very honest person. I think that being honest with others helps them.

If you are around "perfect" people, then how can you be comfortable?

But if you share your struggles and let people see your weaknesses, then they can put their guard down.

We need to stop trying to BE something that we are not. To my fellow bloggers, don't you DARE try to be a blog writer that you are not!

I am not deep, nor am I going to try to be deep. I have been in the Word all my life and more seriously the past 12 years. You probably won't see me lead a Bible study on here (at least not one that I've created). You're not going to see a biblical series or anything like that on here. I read the Bible at face value and just don't get it the way others do. That's okay. When I need that, God will give it to me. As long as I'm reading it and doing my best to LIVE it, then that's all that matters.

I didn't create this blog to do Bible studies. I created this blog to help out other homemakers who struggle! THAT is my purpose. And if I have to openly share my struggles and weaknesses to do it, then so be it. I really don't know how I'm perceived or how you all view me. I'm a devoted mother, wife and homemaker. But I have bad days like everyone else and I really believe that God uses me to help out others who have them as well.

I'm a big fan of Joyce Meyer (please no comments about her - most people who have anything negative to say about her don't really know what she's about...you might as well be insulting my own mother!). Twelve years ago I became a serious Christian because of her. She helps me every day because she is HONEST. She SHARES her STRUGGLES. She laughs at herself which helps me to calm down and realize I AM normal!

We are all normal!

For those who blog, I believe that God will guide people to our blogs that really need our types of messages. If others don't like it, they can leave. I don't read blogs I don't like, why would I expect someone else to?

I wrote a post last year called "Proud to be the Woman that I am" and I had to reread it to encourage myself. We SHOULD be proud of who we are, flaws and all. If we were perfect we wouldn't need Jesus!!!

Do any of you struggle with this?

Bloggers...do you ever catch yourself comparing your blog to others?

Struggling with Holidays and Traditions

2013-02-12T01:00:00.000-05:00

I know it's February, but I'm going to talk a little about Christmas...mostly about the emotional aspect of it.

As a child I had great Christmases. I was the only child and the only grandchild so needless to say I was spoiled. But my love for Christmas had nothing to do with gifts and everything to do with the coziness of the holiday. The lights, the smells, the shows, the music...everything.

The past couple years I finally realized it was all from my mom. It was me and my mom watching these Christmas shows every year, drinking hot cocoa, listening to music and so on (my dad could careless, although I remember hearing him whistle Christmas carols every now and then lol). My mom worked full time since she was 18 years old and still does. By the time she got home she was really exhausted from work like most people are. But something was different at Christmas time. There was excitement in the air when we knew Charlie Brown was coming on that night or Frosty or Rudolph or, our favorite "Twas the Night Before Christmas," you know the one with the mice? I also loved Mickey's Christmas Carol...that was my favorite as a kid.

My mom MADE Christmas for me.

As I've grown into an adult I have battled with Christmas. I loved the atmosphere my mom made when I was a kid (note - she wasn't even trying to do so, she just did it) and I have been trying to duplicate it ever since.

I also had a small family and we did the same thing every year. My grandparents and aunt came for Thanksgiving, on Christmas Eve we spent the late morning into early evening at one grandparents' house and then walked over (lived on the same street) to the other grandparents' house for Christmas Eve dinner. Then on Christmas day they all came over to our house. It was the same way every year since I can remember. It wasn't done on purpose, it's just the way we did things. In fact I don't think that we really did anything traditional each year on purpose. But to me, these "traditions" were engraved into me. (I also lived in the same house my entire childhood - I never moved as a child and neither did any of my family, so it was ALWAYS the same)

So here I am, almost 30. I've been married for almost 9 years with 2 boys ages 7 (almost 8) and a 3 year old. I only have one living grandparent left and we moved out of state (from CT to OH). I don't even see any of my family at Thanksgiving or Christmas.

A part of me longs for that coziness that I had as a child, but each year I fail to get it.

Growing up we had an artificial Christmas tree and every year we put it up the day after Thanksgiving, along with all our Christmas decorations.

Well hubby grew up with no traditions and a real Christmas tree. My husband doesn't find the need for traditions like I do so they aren't that important to him. So when I try to push the issue, sometimes it turns into an irritated situation. He also didn't really like Christmas when I met him so I decided to give in to his need for a real tree since that really was the only thing he cared about. (he enjoys Christmas now - guess that happens when you marry a Christmas freak! lol)

By doing that, I lost my day after Thanksgiving tradition. That was my most favorite day of the year. I actually looked forward to it as much as I looked forward to Christmas day itself. He also works in the retail business so he HAS TO work the day after Thanksgiving so even if we used an artificial tree, I couldn't put it up that day. Getting the real tree is supposed to be a warm, exciting tradition. We go to one of those farms where you cut it down yourself, then drive home, decorate it while listening to Christmas music and drinking hot chocolate. But this is how it really goes:

After getting home, hubby drills holes into the bottom of the tree trunk (helps get more water and makes the tree last a LOT longer), then gets it in the stand and finally we have to wait. If you use an artificial tree every year, you may not know about this. But the trees close up when it's cold outside, soooo when you bring it in the house you have to wait for it to get warm so it will "drop" it's branches. Well kids aren't that patient so let the whining begin. And then when it's FINALLY time to start decorating the tree, they still have to wait for mommy and daddy to put the lights on and then the garland and THEN they can put the ornaments on. This past year was the first year my youngest was able to help decorate the tree. Only problem was he didn't understand how to put them on the tree...so they kept falling. And no matter how we showed him he just wasn't getting it. So decorating the tree this year was chaotic. Instead of the warm, cozy, atmosphere with the hot cocoa, cookies and Christmas music, I instead got a whining 7 year old, a screaming 3 year old, a puppy whimpering, Christmas music that just become a lot of noise, no hot cocoa, I put the butter back in the fridge because at this point I had no desire to bake, and a whole lot of stress.

Christmas was never stressful for me until I had kids. I couldn't wait to have kids so I can pass down what my mom has done for me. But it's soooo different with boys. And it doesn't help when hubby just doesn't get my need for traditions.

My life as a mom is completely different than my mom's. She worked full time, I'm a stay at home mom. She only had one kid, I have 2. She had a girl, I have boys. She lived in CT with all her family, I now live in OH with none of my family. She had a fake tree, I have a real tree. Down to every little detail we are different, except for our personalities (as each day goes by I realize I am just like my mother! And that is not a bad thing!).

There is no way I can duplicate my child hood...NONE of it.

Even when it comes to watching the Christmas shows. Maybe some of you battle with this. I record the shows on my DVR "just in case" I miss them. Only thing is,I don't remember they are on, or we go out, or for whatever reason we just don't watch them. Am I the only one that finds watching a Christmas show "live" to be totally different than watching it recorded or on a DVD?

I have learned a lot the past few months about traditions. The biggest thing that I learned is....

IT'S OKAY TO BREAK THEM!...EVEN ALL OF THEM!

Any time I try to do anything that resembles my Christmas from when I was a child, it comes with a painful feeling inside, almost of mourning. A big part of me wishes I can go back in time, to when I was a kid and relive all my Christmases. Back when not only did I have my family with me, but my family that has passed away over the years.

Sometimes Christmas music is unpredictable to me. I can put on the same music all the time (which by the way, I listen to all year) and I never know how my emotions will go. Most of the time I'll enjoy it, even get the warm fuzzies from time to time. But there are times where it brings up raw emotions. I go back in my rut wanting "the good ole days." I never know when it's going to hit...I can be in a great mood and then all of a sudden BAM...I'm in the rut again.

I have prayed a lot about it and God showed me all the way from Thanksgiving into Christmas little things here and there that have helped me.

Like I said, it's okay to break all your traditions that you grew up with. For some reason I NEEDED to know that it was okay. I almost felt guilty if I didn't do it.

I now decorate for Christmas starting Nov 1st. Christmas begins then for me. We still get the main tree after Thanksgiving and I have decided that I no longer care WHEN that happens. This year I'm getting an artificial tree and putting it in the kitchen in the beginning of November. I'll be putting it up myself, by myself, with lights, garland, and just colorful ordinary ornaments.

If you struggle with anything even remotely similar to what I do, here are some suggestions that I'm learning.

Enjoy the holiday for YOURSELF. My mom absolutely loves Christmas. Because of her I am a Christmas fanatic...however she will actually wait until after Thanksgiving to decorate and celebrate like normal people. Most of the time, when she watches her Christmas shows, my dad is in another room watching something else. Do you think that stops her? Nope. If I wasn't home to watch a show or wasn't interested it didn't stop her either. Her love for Christmas and doing things that SHE liked BLESSED US for multiple reasons. One, we all know that the woman of the home sets the tone. Two, her love for Christmas becomes contagious and three, she's happy doing it which makes her enjoyable to be around. Which brings me to my next point.

Think of things that YOU like to do for Christmas and do them. It may seem selfish that I want to decorate a tree by myself and not include anyone, but really no one cares that much about Christmas like I do in my home. I get so much joy in decorating, baking, making the house smell good and all that and that joy becomes contagious. If I'm enjoying Christmas, and full of joy and all giddy, it puts the rest of my family at peace...it blesses my family. Yes you can do things that YOU enjoy and it blesses the family. Which brings me to my next point, which is really 2 points in 1.

Don't depend on someone else for your Christmas enjoyment. Just like we're not supposed to depend on someone else for our happiness (we instead go to Jesus), we shouldn't depend on someone else for our enjoyment with the Christmas season. Just like my two other points mentioned enjoying the season for yourself, there is another aspect we should be doing. That is to really bring Jesus into our season. Yes we have our nativity scenes, we read Luke 2, do the whole advent thing and what not, but we really need to get back with Jesus. During the year I spend a lot of time studying and reading about being a homemaker and things that I need improvement on (anger, prayer life, patience, etc) that sometimes I forget the whole reason WHY I need to change and sometimes I even forget that Jesus loved me so much that he died for me. I think Christmas time should be a regular renewal of our love and closeness to Jesus. This is even more true if Christmas brings you pain. If you lost a loved one and this time of the year really gets you down, you need to dig into Jesus more than you normally do. I was on a hunt recently for a 2 year Bible reading plan that is in chronological order.....while searching for that I found this AWESOME reading plan that I'm putting in my Christmas binder to do each year.

It is called "30 Days with Jesus." It's a reading plan that goes through the life of Jesus and everything He did and said.

And my last point...

Rethink ALL of your traditions or even just get rid of them. Did you know it's okay to throw out all your traditions? It really is okay. Did you know that it's even okay to not have any? For some reason we love to have traditions when it comes to the holidays. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with them. But if they are causing unnecessary stress or unwanted emotions, get rid of them. If you are like me and love traditions but have a family that either could careless about them or for some reason you just can't do them, then make up some traditions for yourself. Just like I have decided to decorate for Christmas on November 1st - BY MYSELF, you can make your own traditions just for you. Here are a few just to get your brain going

- You can make yourself a cup of hot chocolate while reading the Word during the month of December

- You can try out a new Christmas movie each year or a new book.

- Try out a recipe just for yourself for lunch or during the day

- Each Friday (or whatever day you pick) of the Christmas season, cuddle up on the couch or in bed and watch your favorite Christmas shows. If you're a scheduler, schedule it in and plan for it (clean up during the day and get stuff done so you can sit back guilt free)

- Do a craft that is just for YOUR home.

- Make the house smell nice even if you're the only one home (boil some water with some cinnamon in it along with other similar spices -nutmeg, cloves, allspice, etc) or throw it all in the crockpot

You get the idea. I can't stress enough that we set the tone in our home. And if we're upset and down during the season for whatever reason, then what kind of tone are we setting for our family during the holidays? And what kind of memories are they producing?, especially if you feel this way EVERY YEAR?

I'm personally done with MAKING traditions. Unless one of my kids or hubby has something they want to do every year, I'm not bothering. I'm giving them all up. I'm not trying to reproduce my childhood anymore. I'll watch Christmas shows on the DVR, we'll get a real tree whenever that happens, we'll have different menu plans each year, have different Christmas foods each year, different activities and so on. Only if something is requested again, will I do it. Then that becomes a "natural" tradition.

I'm also rethinking my decor. I grew up with traditional decor. In some ways "old-fashioned" decor. Who knows...maybe I'll jump on the lime green, white and turquoise bandwagon. I went to Target during the Christmas season and I really liked their Christmas decor and some of it would be definitely considered "non-traditional."

My mom never did things on purpose. It was her joy during the holidays that brought the warmth in the house and what made me love Christmas so much and THAT is what I'm hoping to pass along to my family.

Having a Heart for Homemaking

2013-02-08T01:00:00.000-05:00

What comes to mind when you think of the title of this post..."Having a Heart for Homemaking?"

I picture a loving mother and wife who adoringly takes care of all the people living under her roof.

I picture a woman who is smiling warmly at her husband and children.

I picture a woman cleaning her home not because she HAS TO, but because she has so much joy in her heart since she is living her God given role as a homemaker, she knows the value in it, and knows that keeping a tidy home is a blessing to not only her family but to her as well.

Ladies we are called to live like this every day. We SHOULD live like this every day. There is something wrong if we are not.

If this is your true heart, and how you want to live your life and for some reason it seems out of your grasp, I highly suggest you bring it to the Lord. Keep praying that not only that God gives you a heart like this but shows you what is preventing it. I go back and forth with this. One minute I'm queen of homemaking and then the next I'm overwhelmed.

I personally found out that a lot of my problems stem from me doing what *I* want to do when*I* want to do them and God help anyone who slows me down. As women who are home all day, we do need a break. I hate hearing other bloggers talk about how it's selfish to want "me time." It is UNHEALTHY to go day after day taking care of everyone else and not taking care of yourself. But at the same time, if you go to the other extreme and only want to do what you want, when you want it, that is a problem as well. That's the problem I had (and still suffer from a lot with).

I can promise you this...if your main focus all day long is on what YOU want to do, then YOU won't be happy. We weren't meant to serve ourselves. And as much as I hate hearing this and even admitting this, I just have to say it because it's the truth...your home, your husband, and your children need to come before the computer (including Farmville! that was a BIG struggle for me, and I decided to just give it up because it was too big of a temptation to be able to be balanced with it), your friends, your groups, your activities, your books, everything else...those first 3 priorities need to come first and of course God comes before all of that.

If you are constantly struggling to get your time in with the other stuff, you should figure out what you need to let go of or what to change. I love reading blogs but that takes up a lot of my time (I'll share with you what I did to help with that). Just take the time to think about what is really bearing fruit in your life and even question if it's bringing joy. I'm not saying to stop anything that you really enjoy, just give some thought to what it is that you are struggling so hard to accomplish and rethink it.

Ladies, we are what makes our home a haven. Our moods infect the entire house and every living creature in it (I'm learning the dog even knows when I'm moody). We are the only ones in the entire WORLD who can give our family that warmth that only a loving Christian homemaker can give.

Embrace it and decide you will do whatever it takes to get it and make it an every day reality

God bless you on your homemaking journey

And if you love reading on this subject, here is a great article from Ladies Against Feminism called "Wife & Mother: Power to Grow or Destroy."

Book Review: "Destiny, Let God Use You Like He Made You" by Tony Evans

2013-02-06T15:03:00.000-05:00

"When you live out your destiny, you don't measure what you have done according to what someone else has done. Nor is your destiny to be confused with a busy life. When your life is filled with purpose, you measure what you have done according to what you were created to do."

-Tony Evans

"Destiny, Let God Use You Like He Made You" by Tony Evans, is a book all about finding your purpose in life. He talks about why it is important to understand how much God loves you. He also explains why it is important to understand what God's work is and also what our work is in and for the Kingdom. The only way to know that is to know Him and His Word since it explains our lives and what our purpose is.

Tony Evans separated the book into 3 parts

1) The Importance of Your Destiny
2) The Ingredients of Your Destiny
3) The Imperatives of Your Destiny

The first part talks about how important you are to God, how much he loves you, and that you are His masterpiece. We are His creation, however He has given us free will. Of course, He wants us to follow Him and His ways, but we have the choice to live as we choose to.

"Anytime you operate outside of God's purpose for your life, you will experience the consequences of ruling on your own, such as relational, social, emotional, or financial chaos. Things no longer function as smoothly as they would under God " - (Page 19)

He continues with talking about the importance of living for God and His Kingdom, the importance of WHY we should know our destiny, and how complete we will be once we are living our destiny. He finishes the first part with showing us that God is intentional - "When God creates a life, He has an intention for that life" (page 71)

The second part talks about what is needed FOR your destiny. He shows us how important passion is ("The number one ingredient in living out your destiny is your passion" - page 78), the need for a vision ("Vision gives your destiny inspiration and direction" - page 85), what God gives you for your destiny (God made your personality to fit your destiny - page 105), how He can use your past experiences to fulfill your destiny and lastly he talks about life's intersections ( "You discover your destiny when the natural merges with the divine" - page 126)

And finally, the third part talks about the imperatives that you need to truly live in your destiny. Tony Evans explains the importance of commitment ("You must first allow God to own all of you." - page 134, how God has to work on you and develop you into what is needed for your destiny ("Anything you can do on your own is too small to be God's destiny for you" - page 148), the importance of staying connected with God, worshiping Him, and staying in His Word ("The subjective experience of hearing from the Spirit cannot be compared with the objective experience of reading the truths in the Bible" - page 157), he talks about God's glory and giving Him glory, and lastly he talks about the future and not worrying about YOUR plan, but giving your life to God.

So all in all, I find the book to be a great read. Sometimes we need to hear that not only does God love us and that we are His masterpieces, but also that He DOES have a plan for us and that there is a true destiny for us. We aren't living our lives in vein or just wasting space...there IS a plan for our lives and I truly believe that Tony Evans does a great job showing us that.

Thank you to Harvest House for this free copy in exchange for an honest book review. All opinions are mine.

Here is some additional info:

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

Introduction
~PART 1: The Importance of Your Destiny~
1) Concept
2) Kingdom
3) Rationale
4) Completeness
5) Intention

~PART 2: The Ingredients of Your Destiny~
6) Passion
7) Vision
8) Giftedness
9) Experience
10) Intersections

~PART 3: The Imperatives of Your Destiny~
11) Commitment
12) Development
13) Worship
14) Glory
15) Future

Conclusion
Questions for Discussion and Personal Reflection
Notes
Scripture Index
About the Urban Alternative

Publishers Description:

Dr. Tony Evans shows readers the importance of discovering their own God-given purpose and helps them discover the reasons why they are here.

God has ordained a custom-designed life for every believer that leads to the expansion of His kingdom. Until people discover the reason why they were uniquely created, they will be empty and frustrated. But a clear understanding of their personal assignment from God brings about their deepest satisfaction, God's greatest glory, and the greatest benefit to others.

Readers will embark on a journey to discover their particular calling--a journey that includes...

affirming God's plan to give them a unique destiny
using practical tools to identify their special assignment from God
growing into the fullness of their destiny

Understanding God's kingdom agenda for the whole world and His singular role for each ambassador leads to a future that is bright with hope.

Amazon Link Christianbook Link Barnes and Noble Link

Simplifying My Life

2013-02-05T01:00:00.000-05:00

As you can see from my previous posts, I've been battling a lot with anxiety. And I have decided it's time to simplify my life. I started writing this post and realized it's heading in the same direction as yesterday's post. That's okay...you all know I like to ramble. I won't be offended if you skip this post lol.

First and foremost...I need to get the computer in check. I love how when God is leading me in a direction but I'm not quite sure...SOMETHING happens where it's confirmed. For the computer, it was confirmed through a blog post by one of my favorite blogs that I mentioned yesterday, Fascinating Womanhood~Alaska, and you can find her post about homemakers and the computer HERE. I stopped all the games on Facebook because they just sucked the life out of me and my time. I have limited my blogs (I will be writing a post on how to organize your blog reading).

The majority of my computer time is interacting with people. There is facebook, blogs, email and my email groups. My phone is an android and I have downloaded apps for yahoo mail and hotmail. So any email I get, goes to my phone. That way I don't have to come on here to check it. If it's something urgent, then I will, but otherwise it can wait. I'm trying to stick to only being on the computer in the morning and that's it. I'm not making it a law or anything, but I need to get it in check. Even though I use it for socialization, I always have this awful feeling when I leave it on....like it's taking away from my life here at home.

I have tossed out the schedules and cleaning routines. In the season of life I'm in right now, I have little ones. I have to be honest with myself, and I know that anything that is even remotely telling me what to do causes me anxiety. I wrote yesterday about how I had a talk with hubby recently about his expectations of me and not understanding what I go through...AND finding out how wrong *I* was about what goes through his mind. Well since I know he doesn't really have that much in the way of expectations, I now am FREE to clean however I want...that is something I haven't experience in YEARS! Well, I have cleaned more than I ever have. It's so nice to clean because *I* want it clean. Just this weekend I reorganized the closet in the living room and the kids playroom

You know what I don't do?

Watch TV. I have the hardest time sitting and watching a show on TV. I'm not against TV...I WANT to watch TV. So I'm working on that. Yes, the computer has taken over my TV viewing. Like I've said a million times on here, I am home 24/7. I only get out to go to the library and go grocery shopping since we only have one car that hubby uses for work. I have started to record a ton of stuff on my DVR to watch later. One show I have been loving recently is Full House. Before last week, I haven't watched that show since I was a kid (how "convenient" the first episode was about the dad being a neat freak lol).

I have even decided to walk slower. Yes, walk slower. I rush everywhere - in my own home! I'm always in a hurry because I never know when I'm going to get interrupted. I'm learning to realize it's okay when I get interrupted. I want to take my time with things, even if it means I have to stop and deal with other things

Another thing I want to do is space out my time with God. After hubby leaves for work I usually have an hour before I have to wake my older son up for school. So I use that time for my time with God. Well I started using part of that time to throw a load of wash in, empty the dishwasher, make my son's lunch and so on. Basically anything that NEEDS to be done, but becomes difficult due to my 3 year old. I'm doing that stuff in the morning and then having some time with God in the afternoon (and trying to keep focus that I can spend time with him all day through "praying without ceasing.") Just this morning I balanced my checking account and paid some bills WITHOUT my 3 year old demanding me every 5 seconds. It normally takes me a half hour or 45 minutes....with him still sleeping it took me less than 5 minutes. By doing this stuff BEFORE he wakes up, I get all the annoying things out of my way, for the day and I can be more peaceful and handle the interruptions and behavior issues. I actually spend time with God MORE this way.

I want to simplify my blogging. I did this before, and I'm doing it again. Just like when I organized my living room closet...I've done it before, but this time I have taken MORE out of it. I started doing that Homemaking Quote thing on Sundays. Well that forces me to read books I don't have time to read or to research quotes and blah blah blah. I'm tossing that idea out the window. I've decided that I don't need to have a picture with every post. I'm not a photographer, and I hate worrying about image credits and all that.

Where do we come up with all these expectations and rules for ourselves? If people don't like our stuff, then forget them!!!

I've also been thinking about reposting some of my favorite posts from last year. With many new readers, I feel because they are old, some good messages would be missed.

I'm learning that I'm not a failure because I haven't gotten to something.

TOYS TOYS AND MORE TOYS - this is a biggie for me. I have decided, since my kids don't like to clean up, and my 3 year old likes to empty baskets and bins for no apparent reason, I have started taking any toys that annoy me and put them in the basement. Toys that have a lot of parts (puzzles, cars, legos, etc) are on the shelf in the closet and he has to ask me for them. When he wants one of those, he has to clean up the toys he already has out. I would feel guilty for taking his toys and putting them downstairs. Really? How stupid!

Book Reviews - I am part of 4 programs where I get free books in exchange for reviews. Can I be honest? I've never actually finished any of those books. I'm in such a rush to finish them that I skim through them. I'm going to work on getting caught up with those reviews and then be VERY picky about which ones I choose. I'm only choosing books that I would want to buy in a store.

I'm also focusing more on the relationships within my home. I want more quality time with my kids and husband. Lately we are on a puzzle kick. I want to read to my kids more. I don't want to fill my days with the computer, and cleaning and all that stuff that truly takes away from the relationship side of my family. I want to pay more attention to what I say to hubby and to truly be a blessing to him. I will be rereading the Fascinating Womanhood book again. It's normally a daily thing but I haven't been in it for awhile now. It seems once I post that I do something on here, I end up not doing it anymore or fall out of rhythm with it...weird!

I'm working on paying more attention to behavior. I want to praise more of the good, and consistently correct the bad. My 3 year old is definitely in the testing stage. He CONSTANTLY is getting into trouble. If I spank him, he laughs. He thinks going in the corner is fun. The only thing that works is confining him to his room...but even then that sometimes doesn't work. He had no tv or toys in there so what did he play with? The "contents" of his diaper!! Eeeewwww!

By me having less to do, I can keep my eye on him more, distract him more, and work with him. It's a very bad thing if that kid gets bored!

I'm making sure not to fill my days with anything extra. This coming fall we are homeschooling again. I rather be bored all this time, than to have to stop doing stuff then. I want my focus to be so much on my family, that I don't feel pulled in any other direction.

Notes, notes and yes...more notes. I'm tired of being forgetful. I have paper and pen in just about every room I go in. If my husband calls and requests something, I immediately write it down. In my Home Management Binder (soon to be changed to just an organizer - will share when that happens) I put right in the front a one subject notebook (remember those have 3 holes punched thru them already). That is strictly for me to write notes in. If I want to remember to tell hubby something or my mom something I jot it down there. Even this morning he texted me to put a file in a certain spot. Well where that file was is where the dogs are sleeping and it wasn't time for them to come out so I just wrote it down so I can do it later.

It's so nice to relax my brain and not try to remember everything anymore!

Are you in the process of simplifying your life? What are you changing to do so?

My Argument Against Husbands VS a Clean House

2013-02-01T01:00:00.000-05:00

Before listening to my "argument" you need to listen to the video below (email subscribers click HERE)

Look...I love all these ladies in this video. I read all their blogs and they have been a blessing in my life. So my argument isn't against THEM, but their answer.

NOW, let me just say I TOTALLY understand where this woman is coming from. My husband is the EXACT same way and I catch myself saying the same thing "I wish my husband was like normal men." Now when we say normal, we mean a man who doesn't care how the house looks. I rather have a husband that is a bit of a slob than have one that is a neat freak. At least that's what I tell myself at times, but in reality I don't think that's true. I love going out to run an errand and come home and realize he's cleaned up. If he truly was a slob then EVERYTHING would be on me.

ANYWAYS...My ARGUMENT is... what about the husband?!!!!

She has a 20 MONTH OLD BABY!!!!! Why can't the HUSBAND relax a little? Why can't the husband say "hey, I know the little one keeps you busy, so I don't expect the house to be perfect?" I'm not talking about giving her a pass for a sloppy house..I'm talking not being such a PERFECTIONIST!! How DARE they tell her to work harder than she already is!!

Yes the Bible tells us to submit. But the Bible ALSO has a spot for husbands. HELLO?!!! They are supposed to treat their WIVES like JESUS treated the church!!!!

Picture Jesus as a husband in today's world. Do you really think He'll come home from working all day, plop down on the chair in front of the TV, and expect his wife who is STILL WORKING to do everything for him???! Do you think He would throw even more UNREALISTIC demands on His wife who is already exhausted from the kids HE helped to make?

Shame on that husband!!!!

My mom is a neat freak. She's not as bad as she used to be but I moved out as soon as I could (a few months after I turned 18) to get away from it! And what did I do nearly 2 years later? I MARRIED a neat freak. Can I be honest? I'm TIRED of cleaning to shut someone else up. I want to be the woman of the house where people clean to keep ME quiet. I don't even get a chance to CARE how the house looks because I'm too worried about what hubby thinks.

On another note, I'm kinda having some issues with what Courtney said, or what her hubby said to her about her needing to "step it up." What gives any man, whether they are truly the head of the household or not, the right to tell his wife that she needs to clean more? Look, if the woman is a slob...then that's fine. But if she's working really hard already, he has absolutely NO RIGHT (in my opinion) to open his big ole mouth and tell her to do more. That would be like me telling my husband "you know what hubby, I see your working really hard to provide for this family, but it's not enough...go get another job."

Okay, so I'm done with my little rant lol. My husband is a great man and helps me out in whatever ways he can. In fact I just chatted with him recently and I realized that his expectations are not nearly as high as I thought they were...I was losing my mind!

Now, I do have to agree with a little bit about what they were saying towards the end. We really need to change our focus on WHY we clean. If your only reason for cleaning (like mine sometimes is) is to keep your husband from complaining, you very well may get yourself into some resentment.

What is your FIRST thought(s) when your little one dumps out his toys? If it's something like "oh, now I have to clean THAT up too before hubby gets home" or "oh great, just another thing for me to clean before hubby sees it," etc...then you're cleaning for the wrong reasons.

It's really hard to find that balance of keeping the house clean for your husband and enjoying your role as homemaker. Our husbands work hard to provide for us, they deserve to come home to a nice clean home to relax to (we also deserve a clean home since we are in it ALL THE TIME!). But we also work hard all day and sometimes our kids can thwart our entire cleaning. There was a time where I had the house almost perfect. And just during the time frame of my husband PULLING IN THE DRIVEWAY, my youngest brought toys in the living room and threw them up in the air and all of them scattered all over the living room floor. Plus he dumped bins of toys in the room where he got the toys. So after an hour or so of busting my butt, it looked like I didn't do anything all day. (Hubby is just like Darlene's hubby where he loves the floors clean). A part of me says if my husband wasn't so picky, I wouldn't care so much. I really wish I knew what it was like to truly clean because *I* want it clean, not because someone else does. Again, I totally relate to that reader in the video.

This is the husband that God has given me. I have noticed that I don't do much unless I'm forced. I'm not a neat freak, but I'm not a slob either. However I sometimes wonder how the house would really look if hubby TRULY didn't care how it looked. Would I keep it as clean as I do? I have a feeling God made him the way he did to keep me in line with my homemaking. But sometimes I really wished I had a break from having to care.

I go back and forth with cleaning for God. I noticed when I'm "back," it's because I haven't spent enough quality time with God...you know the kind where it hits you on an emotional level like I mentioned in THIS post? When I'm on fire for God I just want to take care of the home that HE (not hubby) has given me, to BLESS my family with a clean home (not because I HAVE TO), and to ENJOY my role as a homemaker (not depending on hubby or a clean house to give me my value).

So ladies, I hope I encouraged you by showing that you are not alone with your cleaning frustrations. In fact about 90% of our fights have been over cleaning, so it's not just you! But I also hope I encouraged you to get your time and walk with God where it needs to be so you are truly cleaning for Him and no one else.

I also recommend you chatting with your husband about what he truly expects. Day in and day out of MY thinking got me to the point where I broke down and sobbed and told him I can't live up to his expectations and I can't take it anymore. He was so confused. I basically have been taking all the years we were married and replaying all the times he got aggravated with something in the house (related to cleaning) and replayed them over and over in my mind. Every little thing that annoyed him, I was trying to prevent and take care of. I never took into account that he has grown and changed and DOES understand that I have a little one that wreaks havoc in this house. He doesn't expect perfection. What I was thinking was totally wrong and I drove myself crazy thinking that way! So make sure you get what hubby is really thinking out in the open. You may be surprised!

I have somewhat of an update HERE

How I have been studying the Bible lately

2013-01-31T05:36:00.001-05:00

[image source]

Normally when I study the Bible I'm working on specific books in the Bible. I have accumulated over the years a stack of books that are study guides to specific books, or women of the Bible.

But I'm not doing it that way now. I figured I could share with you what I'm doing so if you want something else to try, you have another option under your belt.

As you can see from yesterdays post, I'm battling with anxiety. So I looked through my books and I have started to read Joyce Meyer's book "Be Anxious for Nothing, the Art of Casting Your Cares and Resting in God." I also am using her study guide and her teaching series to go along with this. I NEED to conquer this!

Anyways...

I have done this for years but I'm really on fire with it now.

When you read a Christian Living book you come across many scriptures. So what I've been doing is when I come across a verse in their book, I go to my Bible, highlight it, and then write out what they had to say about that verse.

For example, when she quoted Philippians 4: 6-7 ("Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus"), I wrote near that verse what she said "Peace is to be the normal condition for us as believers in Jesus Christ."

If I have enough room I'll write a whole paragraph if it spoke to me.

I look at it like this...if it was important enough and meaningful enough for me to highlight it in the book and underline it and make every point NOT to forget it (and it would benefit my life if I would apply it), then why not write it in THE book that I read daily for my life? We write down notes our pastors say, why not books that we read to help us in that area?

I use a Life Application Study Bible and it's great. But sometimes it doesn't help me when I have problems or struggles. It's really nice when I'm reading the Bible and turn to a page where I've quoted another book. My favorites are books that talk about God's love for me (ex: Heart Hunger, Falling in Love with Jesus, etc.).

So there you have it!

Do you have a creative way of studying the Bible?

A Product EVERY Parent should know about

2013-01-25T09:55:00.003-05:00

Let me start off by saying this is NOT an advertising post or anything like that. This is ME, as a mom, telling YOU all about a product that I think every parent should know exists. And if you don't need it, just keep it in your memory bank for when you find another parent who may.

A few months ago I wrote on my facebook page about my little guy (3 years old) who I just cannot get medicine in him. One of my wonderful readers told me about FeverAll. I had no clue what it is so I googled it.

It is like a Tylenol suppository. Yup, it goes up their bum. No spitting it out, no worry about them not getting their pain or fever under control.

This has recently come in handy because this past Wednesday, my little guy had to have surgery. And of course there is pain afterwards.

I need to stop right here and praise God for a minute. First off, ever since I heard of it, I have not been able to find it anywhere. Then last week, I found it sitting on the shelf at Walmart!! It wasn't there before because I looked every time I went there (I do all my grocery shopping there). They have it in Infants, Children and Jr. Strength. I think they are a little on the pricey side. It's about $6 at Walmart for only 6 suppositories. They do have a coupon on their website which I will definitely be using.

I can't recommend it enough!!

How to get over the stronghold of ungodly music

2013-01-24T05:22:00.000-05:00

I have lived my entire life as a Christian, but my most serious walk with God started when I was 18, right after high school. I graduated in 2001 which means I was a teen in the 90s.

Where I grew up it was uncool to listen to anything other than rap, r&b and pop. So I listened to a lot of Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Tupac, Notorious BIG, etc.

If I turned to the radio NOW to a station that played that type of music I would be disgusted. I sound like my parents when I say "you call that music??" lol

But I have struggled all these years with giving up that music. Just like my parents like the music from the 70s, I love my 90s music..or just the stuff I listened to in high school really. I have always been a huge fan of Britney Spears. I've had all her albums...I just really enjoyed her music. I have gone back and forth with the music battle. My main music is country music. I didn't start liking it until I was about 19 or 20. My husband makes fun of me because I'll go from listening to Alan Jackson, to Britney Spears, and then to Metallica.

I used to have a playlist on YouTube with all the songs I listened to in high school. Whenever I went out, I played a few Britney Spears songs since I kept her CDs in the car. I have actually bought a CD by a certain rapper 3 times because I kept throwing it out, and then wanting it again. One minute I'm super holy in this area and then the next minute I'm not.

God has recently healed me from this. I'll tell you how He healed me, and then give you some tips on how to get over this struggle.

During the Christmas season I had on TV the music channels that come with the digital cable package. There is a station called "Sounds of the Season" and it was playing Christmas music. I grabbed the remote and "accidentally" pushed the channel up button. "Conveniently" it was the Christian station (isn't God funny how He works sometimes lol). Well sure enough it was playing my favorite Christian Song (Jeremy Camp's There Will Be a Day). At that point in my life I was in a huge Christian music rut. I thought it was all boring. I'd play it in the car and immediately turn it off. But after hearing that song, God spoke to me big time with it and I have made a decision to not only listen to more Christian music DAILY but to use it to truly worship God.

He also showed me my issues with Christian music which I didn't even realize I had. Everyone of course has their own preference in music, but I was shown that I don't really like Christian Women singers. It doesn't affect me on a deep level the way hearing a man sing. Which I found really odd because I'm naturally uncomfortable around other men. But I get mentally distracted listening to women singers for some weird reason and this is ONLY with Christian music. The majority of my music are from women. It's not just women, but groups too. It's so weird. Only one male singer singing hits me on that level where I can't do anything but focus on God. You may not be the same way, but apparently that's what's going on with me. Crazy huh? lol

So I've been listening to Jeremy Camp and Matt Redman since I have those CDs. I'm now on a hunt to find more similar singers. Before I was trying to replace my "sinful" music with Christian music that sounded similar. It just didn't work. I had to have a clean slate.

Now here is HOW to get over this struggle:

YOU have to listen to Christian music DAILY otherwise it's easy to drift away from it. You have to realize that to get over this struggle...it's a big part of the healing process. I went back and forth and quickly "lost" my healing. I refuse to give in to the temptation though because the feeling I get when I listened to the "right" music is awesome!

Sometimes when you get behind in your time with God, you miss a few days or even a lot of days, you start to have this feeling where you almost feel like God is not pleased with you or you have this disconnected feeling with God. Then when you finally have time with Him again, you feel not right. It's almost like you're sitting there not knowing what exactly to do. You lost your rhythm or flow, so to speak, with your time with God. The same thing can happen with your music. The more Christian music you listen to (I'm talking worship music here) the more you want to listen to it. If you let days and weeks go by, it's easy to get caught up in that rut again. You have to make a decision to have it be a part of your daily life. I listen to it while I'm cleaning my room and usually I don't want to turn it off when I'm done. I turn it up and let it play through out the house.

PRAY that God strips the enjoyment, the desire, and everything that attracts you to ungodly music away. You can't do this on your own, you NEED God's help. The whole healing process started with making me not feel comfortable listening to that kind of music. I had an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach.

PRAY that God shows you the deeper meaning to why you like that ungodly music. What goes through your mind when you're listening to it? Hmmm...I don't think I need to say anything more there lol!

PRAY that God shows you what music really affects you (like how only male singers affect me). Maybe you have something quirky like me with needing a certain specific type of singing to get to that deeper level.

Start listening to Christian music and really pay attention to what songs affect you on that deeper level (you know what I'm talking about). Once you realize what moves you, start researching similar music like that. Check your libraries, listen to them on YouTube, and if you can afford it purchase a few CDs.

Consistency is VERY important with this. I hope this helps you. It has taken me almost 12 years to get to this point. It's not easy, but it's so worth it. And where it brings you to God, words just can't describe. There is a deep peace and a fullness that I've never experienced before. Do whatever it takes to get you there...you won't regret it.

Simplifying your Routines

2013-01-22T01:00:00.000-05:00

Last Friday I talked about how I still struggle with schedules.

I have been walking hand in hand with God trying to figure myself out and what works for me. I so desperately want to be laid back. My goodness...I am so naturally uptight and I HATE IT!

I'm going to be homeschooling this coming school year - which by the way, I have hubby's blessing on now. Yes he has concerns, but I have the green light to do that. I still have to prove to myself (and at the same time him) that I can handle it. I so easily get stressed out over the stupidest things! Hubby actually called me a skitzo one morning. Definitely not doing well in the "proving" department if you ask me.

I want to be able to go with the flow, and handle things as they arise.

Night time is horrible for me.

This is what my routine was:

6:30 - throw a load of wash in, gather all the dishes, clean up the kitchen, load the dishwasher and run it, give the kids a bath, take the trash out, take the dog out and put him to bed, prep morning coffee & tea, make my son's lunch for school, get the kids to bed, throw the clothes in the dryer, shower and go to bed.

Now...you see I put 6:30 there. Hubby works early so we try to go to bed by 8:00. I am so stressed trying to get all that done in that short time frame (remember there are interruptions too).

So I took laundry out of the equation and do it during the day.

But that wasn't enough.

I was still going nuts.

So I prayed...God showed me I can skip the baths (3 year old can take one during the day and my oldest can take a shower in the morning), trash can be taken out in the afternoon, and so can't the prepping of the coffee and tea and making my son's lunch. The dog isn't really an issue...it takes like 30 seconds.

Since I've changed all that I can breathe! Really all I do now is just clean up from dinner and the dishes!

I'm hoping to make a simpler bed time routine for the boys of just brushing teeth, put pjs on, maybe 1 bedtime story and done. I go to bed between 8-9 so at 7:30 I'm whooped.

Ladies, does your routine drive you nuts? Or is there any part of your day that is really stressful? What can you do to fix it? Pray and really think about it!

Let me know what happens!! :-)

Still struggling with schedules and a GREAT App to tell you about

2013-01-18T01:00:00.000-05:00

I was really hoping that I would be able to conquer this issue over my blog break and tell you all how to conquer it as well. I know many of my readers battle with schedules just like me.

I did learn WHY I hated them...there are basically 2 reasons.

One is my lack of discipline and me doing everything by how I FEEL. If I schedule to do something at 10:00 and I don't FEEL like doing it...I almost become a child who has to do homework. I have an inner temper tantrum. How stupid? Many times I say skip it, and then it condemns me all day.

Since I've gotten a puppy, God has used his "bodily functions" as a great tool for me. It's amazing how NOT cleaning up dog poop is such a great motivator. I have him on a strict schedule and whenever I venture off of it I have something nasty to clean up.

I really believed the past couple months, and more recently, that God wants me to run off of a schedule. However, whenever I start one something always happens to mess it up. (This is my 2nd reason)

For example...let's talk about this past Monday. My son's school does not have a spring break, instead they tack on that week after Winter Vacation. So after having him home for 3 weeks and going back to school on the 14th, I was pumped to get a system going. I also was going to begin the Good Morning Girl's Luke study. I had everything prepared the night before. Once hubby left for work I would start on my study. I had times for certain things and certain chores to do and so on.

Here I was, believing God wants me to get over my hatred for schedules and to get going on one.

Well that Jan 14th morning, my difficult, high needs child, decided to wake up at 4:45 in the morning! He normally doesn't wake up until after 8!!! My whole morning and studies went right out the window. I was so frustrated with God. After all HE'S been the one pushing me to do this!!!

But has He?

I honestly don't know. Seriously, I'm lost with this.

I DO know He wants me to be more diligent with the housecleaning and not letting things slide.

I DO know He wants me to go the extra mile with my homemaking

I DO know He wants me to do all my cleaning joyfully

I DO know He wants me to be more responsible

There are a ton more things that I DO know.

But I don't understand why He keeps bringing schedules in my face and when I try to apply them, something out of the norm happens to mess them up.

Same thing happens when I decide to start an exercise program.

I have been praying that I go with the flow more. Maybe that's a kind of prayer like when you ask for more patience? We all know what happens when we pray for THAT don't we lol?!

That Monday morning was extremely stressful. I even posted on Facebook for you all to pray for me. I was so overwhelmed to the point I was fighting off tears. If my BIL wasn't here I probably would of sobbed. He did not leave me alone. In the span of about 15 minutes he asked me for at least 50 different requests and I think THAT is actually an understatement. He just followed me around all day asking me for different things. I couldn't have a complete thought all day. And then I wonder why my memory stinks lately! He went around screaming and whining all day. Needless to say my new (and now unused) schedule went out the window.

(See bottom of this post for an UPDATE about this)

HOWEVER, I think I found a system that DOES work for me. And it cost me less than $2.

I LOVE checklists. I love the satisfaction of crossing off something that I did. However I don't want to have to rewrite them everyday (I did that a few years ago lol), I don't want to print them off all the time and I never had luck with doing the sheet protector and dry erase marker technique.

I DID find an app that I absolutely love! I'm not big into buying apps. I'm cheap and like the freebies. I downloaded (for free - I didn't realize it was only a trial and after 2 weeks would cost money...but I loved it so much I bought it). It is called FlyHelper Personal Organizer. It's based on the Flylady system but if you do NOT like Flylady you can still use it. I don't follow Flylady but I LOVE this app.

Let me talk about this app. First off HERE is the link to get an idea and then you can search it on your phone.

When you open up the app this is what you first see:

Under ROUTINES is where I do everything on here. There is a Morning button, Afternoon, Evening, Weekly and Monthly buttons. You add all your routines to here and you get to check them off. If you have to do things at a certain time or you are a schedule type person you can enter in your task like this: "8:00 School".

Here is a picture of their evening routine...as you can see it's not in English lol

As you complete a task, you click on the check box. A check mark appears and it crosses off the task. You can also reorder the tasks however you want by using the reorder button.

Each morning I click on the tasks button on the bottom and choose "Mark all open." If you click on REMOVE tasks it will end up DELETING them (I learned that the hard way)

I have come up with a list of weekly cleaning tasks along with monthly tasks. Instead of scheduling what days I do them, I throw them all under those 2 categories and pick and choose which ones I want to do. It's amazing what checking off a box can motivate me to do! (I think THIS is my cleaning plan). Note: I do not clear these every morning like I do the Morning, Afternoon, Evening routines. I also add to the weekly routine my exercise plans, my weekly manicure (that I do at home), and other similar items. Even on my morning, afternoon and evening routines I have added drinking water. I LOVE checking things off so even the simplest of things (like waking up lol) I add to it.

The TASKS button is more of a random to-do list. If you have to make phone calls, run a certain errand, basically anything that you don't do every day (so it doesn't go under any routines) you would add here just like you would the routines.

Now the ZONES are a little different (I don't use them). This is Flylady all the way. This is what it looks like:

Those little gear looking circles you can click on and edit that list. So you can customize each zone and then click them as you do them.

I don't use the MEAL PLANNER since hubby does most of the cooking. They don't have any pictures of that one but it looks just like the routines picture.

The DAY PLAN is actually a link to Flylady's website, specifically to her launch pad. They do have a picture of that:

There is also a timer for those who like to use them. You can see that on the first pic on the bottom left corner.

This is such a great app. Again, like I said, I normally don't spend money on apps but this one is worth every penny! Less than 200 of them lol!

So maybe an actual schedule isn't my thing. Maybe checklists are? Of course there are things that I do at certain times and I have the times written next to the task.

I think the combination of checklists and being diligent and CONSISTENT is what God is pushing me at and not necessarily a schedule. In this season of life I don't know what is happening an hour from now. And for me to go with the flow, I can't PLAN so specifically like that. Plus I don't like to do things the same way all the time. I'm already home every single day... I don't need to do the same THINGS every day too.

Are any of you checklist.ers?

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UPDATE: Since I wrote this earlier in the morning (I wrote this this past Tuesday) it has been on my mind all day. So I have been really asking God to SHOW ME what all this is about. Why keep putting schedules in my face, why pushing me to work so hard, but yet teaching me to go with the flow? How can I do both at the same time? GOD, I DON'T GET IT!

And then I got my answer. I need to have some sort of plan, because if I don't, then I don't get things done. But my plan is not my master. I need to go with the flow. I don't necessarily NEED a schedule, in fact I have FINALLY and OFFICIALLY tossed out the IDEA of a schedule. I now know I work better off routines and checklists. As long as the result happens then that's all that matters. I am naturally an uptight perfectionist. So if I make a schedule, it drives me nuts if things don't go right. For example, as I'm writing this update it is 5:07pm. My husband is usually home right now. I have to go grocery shopping tonight. I also recently started a bedtime routine that starts at 6:30. He won't be home until 6:00. I take my youngest with me shopping while hubby gets dinner done. Sooo...if I stick to my schedule, once again it won't happen. But on days where nothing is going on, then the norm happens. I care more about the "norm" than anything else. I'm not sure if I am getting this out in writing. How it is in my head is not how it's coming out on here for some reason! Basically, have a plan, not a schedule and be okay when things change. By me tossing out the idea of a schedule, I'm relaxed more. In the grand scheme of things it's not a big deal.

When you are able to stick to a plan or routine, then do it. When life happens, go with it. Always have it in the back of your mind when you are making a plan that a child or spouse (or other things) can completely change it...and be okay with it. It's when we have official thoughts (at such and such a time I am GOING to be doing xyz) that becomes the problem. For example, my mother takes care of her elderly mother (she doesn't live with my mom, she lives on her own). When my mom gets out of work all she really wants to do is go home and relax after working all day. But now, when she pulls in the driveway she thinks to herself "I will probably have to go out and that is okay." It happens quite often that my grandmother will call her and need something.

You should read THIS (short) article by Michelle Duggar on how she has zero expectations. It's great.

Have a great day!

Realizing Your VALUE as a Homemaker

2013-01-17T01:00:00.000-05:00

So yesterday I finished my two part "series" talking about when you just resent everyone. I finished it saying that you need to KNOW the VALUE in being a homemaker. Here is that post!! :-)

For some reason we battle with this...I know I do and I know many of you do as well. Although the BIBLE says we are called to be homemakers, we sometimes feel it's not important. Even though the CREATOR OF THE WORLD says we are called to be homemakers, we feel like we're just a bunch of slaves cleaning up after everyone else. Even though the great women in the Bible, INCLUDING THE MOTHER OF OUR SAVIOR, that we love so much were homemakers including those who took care of Jesus Himself!!!!, we feel that in today's society it just doesn't matter.

Sweet ladies, we need to get over this!

First and foremost, you need to have your relationship with God at a level of intimacy where it's just you and Him all day long. I wrote about that in my post called "The real reason WHY we struggle." We hear all the time that we should do our work as unto the Lord, but if you aren't that close to Him...I'm talking REALLY close...then deep down you don't really care or care enough. Sometimes it seems like it's just SOMEONE ELSE barking orders at you.

But by having Him so close to you, your heart just wants to take care of the home He provided for you and you are truly doing it out of a heart of thanksgiving. For many years I cleaned so my husband wouldn't complain. And to be honest, I was telling my husband off in my head the whole time I was doing it...by the time he was home I was mad at him!

Do you realize that it is absolutely okay to clean your home and not have anyone notice?

Think about that for a second

Do you do anything at home just to PROVE something?...to prove that you don't sit on your butt all day and do nothing? I battle with that a lot. In the early years of our marriage where we were both ignorant about certain things. hubby would actually ask me "well what did you DO all day?" and it wasn't because he really wanted to know. It was a condescending question because the house wasn't up to his standards. It wasn't until 4 years after having my first son where he had to watch my oldest while I was in the hospital with our youngest where he FINALLY realized it's not as easy as it looks. Needless to say, he doesn't ask that anymore. In fact, the day I wrote my original post on resentment (where I was writing during my bad day) hubby came home from work and helped me get the house in order, took over the kids and dinner and helped me to relax. We've grown A LOT.

When you are truly close to God it is very easy to do something as unto the Lord. If you are "connected" with Him all day long it really no longer matters to you if your husband (or whoever) notices what you did all day. All that matters to you is that God knows what you did.

So we have to get over ONLY doing something to PROVE something. If your husband is hard on you about the house, I highly suggest you almost look through him and stare at God. Pray about it, and just stick with God. Figure out what it is that your husband is picky about (it's floors and counters for my husband) and focus on those closer to when he comes home (while still doing it for the Lord) .

Today's media (including books and blogs) do not really cover how valuable we really are. I really believe that mothers, especially ones that stay home with their children, are being attacked by Satan. There is something going on. Ever since women started leaving the home, society has changed and not for the better. We need to dig further to realize our value. I am making a goal for 2013 and from this point forward to read literature that was written before all this nonsense began. Go check out my list on the right side of my blog, under the welcome message if you're interested in doing the same.

Have a great day!

When you resent everyone part 2 of 2

2013-01-16T01:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I talked about resenting everyone. Today I'm going to talk about overcoming this.

Before we begin, let me ask you a question.

What do you think of yourself as a mom, a wife, and a homemaker?

Be honest.

I have learned that a lot of my resentment comes from me TRYING SO HARD to be the perfect mom, wife, and homemaker that when things don't work the way I planned I get sooooo angry. When my 3 year old decides to make his toys "snow" like I said yesterday, I immediately get filled with resentment because now it looks like *I* didn't keep the house clean. When my older son acts up, I think it's because there is something wrong in *my* parenting.

I have this vision in my head of what *I* am supposed to be and I am not even CLOSE to being that woman. I want to be the sweet yet tough mom...instead I am (at times) a mean and wimpy mom. I want to be soft spoken...I am definitely NOT that. I read a lot - which I am starting to think can be a bad thing - about homemaking and being a Christian mother and so on. Well I read these books (and blogs) and all I see is what I am NOT.

Do you do the same thing?

Reading such material can be a good thing...but if you read so much that it makes you feel like a failure...take a break from them. I plan on writing a lot of stuff on here about being a great homemaker and such, but I still want to show that I too struggle with these things.

God also showed me a few other things on WHY I am resentful...maybe you have similar reasons

1 - I have not been content financially (money is a huge stresser for me), although I have made huge strides with trusting God in this area.

2 - I feel like I have to PROVE that I did something all day (hubby is a neat freak and house cleaning has been the root of the majority of our arguments)

3 - I battle with being selfish with my time. When my kids want me when I'm doing something (especially when it's constant) it really aggravates me

4 - Again, I don't feel like I measure up to the woman in my head

5 - There are certain things that I have allowed that I regret (ex: son sleeping in my bed, no chores for my oldest, etc) but don't have the courage to change (As many of you know, God has been working with me on this and I'm starting to see some changes already)

6 - Due to being away from family (our only babysitters), hubby and I haven't been on a date or alone by ourselves in YEARS.

7 - We just go through the motions of life

8 - I am home all day and would love to just be able to go to a park or something and get fresh air. Before I was married I was big into nature. I would go to the beach almost every weekend when I lived in CT (even when it was cold out), I went for walks to take in nature...I even loved to just sit on the grass and watch the sunset. I can't do that now without worrying about what is going on inside the house. It's so dramatic when I just go to the bathroom!

9 - Once hubby comes home we have dinner. Then I clean up from dinner and any mess in the kitchen, do my evening routine and then we're off to bed. We have to get up so early (4am) that we have to be in bed ready for sleep by 8 or 9. We don't have much time together

There are a ton of other reasons that I'm sure God will show me

But here is how to get over it -

1 - Pray. This should be obvious and sometimes we don't think it's important enough. Be honest with God about how you feel. You're not going to upset Him. He already knows how you feel, He's just waiting for you to bring it to Him.

2 - Realize that you CAN get over this and the majority of it is solved in your mind. It's what you're thinking that is causing the resentment. Remember, you can be pitiful or powerful...but you can't be both!

3 - Change what you can and leave the rest up to God. For example, I changed a little of my night time routine so I had less to do which means more time with hubby. I can always ask hubby to watch the kids for five minutes so I can sit outside alone to just breathe. I have a hard time asking my husband for things I need...I haven't quite figured out WHY that is, although I know part of it is because I battle with self worth. That will be my next project lol.

4 - Keep an eye on what you're thinking. This goes along with #2. When your kids ask you for something or your husband, PAY ATTENTION to what you're thinking AT THAT MOMENT. When your kids are having a hissy fit over something PAY ATTENTION to what you're thinking AT THAT MOMENT. Is it godly? Is it negative? What can you think of INSTEAD of such awful thoughts?

5 - Speak out loud!!! The Word says that there is life and death in the tongue. It also says to "calleth those things which be not as though they were." Yes that scripture is saying that GOD speaks things that are not as though they were, but we are made in God's image and we have the power of Jesus in us so WE can speak like that as well. I wrote a post back early in my blog called "The Power of Speaking God's Word." I have been following this principle for YEARS and I can't begin to tell you how true it is. I have seen HUGE things happen because of what I confess on a regular basis. My lists have become so long that I had to break them into daily confessions and weekly confessions. I have added to my daily list the following things to speak:

a) I deal patiently with my family

b) I am not stressed, resentful, nor pitiful. Instead I am peaceful, grateful and powerful

c) I am filled with love, peace, and joy. My home is filled with it because of me

d) I am the mood setter of my home and at the same time, other's moods don't affect me

e) My mouth spews words that brings life, encouragement, power, blessings and are uplifting

f) I love my role as a homemaker and strive in it; I follow my schedule daily and can handle interruptions that may change it

g) I work hard as a homemaker keeping the house clean and organized, which is a job that is never done and I love it!

I just can't stress this principle enough!

6 - Start a thankfulness journal. I have a simple composition notebook that I started to write in daily things that I'm thankful for. I would stop during the middle of the day and write in it. I did it that way because it forces me to stop however it is that I'm thinking, and pay attention to the good things in my life. Most of our resentment stems from being discontent.

7 - Realize your VALUE in being a homemaker. I started to write about this and it became so long that I have decided to make a separate post about it and you will see it tomorrow.

So that's it. I hope this helps you. Just writing it helped me a lot!!

When you resent everyone - Part 1 of 2

2013-01-15T07:22:00.000-05:00

This is a 2 part series. I will be writing today and have the second part tomorrow. The first part is me writing WHILE I was in a rut. I decided to post it because I want other women to know that they aren't the only ones who go through this. Yes we are supposed to be this sweet, loving, joyful homemaker...but sometimes we can't be that...we do our best to be that but we fail sometimes...sometimes miserably. I fail quite often. Sometimes I hate being a woman because we have emotions.

Part 2 is what to do about it.

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I am writing this part here on December 14, 2012 during my blog break. The past couple weeks I have been doing better, however the past few days I've been a rotten mess.

This is a blog about homemaking and being joyful and passionate towards our homemaking. BUT I still want to be real. Some days just stink.

I have become resentful towards everyone in my home the past few days. Instead of being happy little homemaker SERVING my family, instead I feel like a slave.

Yesterday I had a really bad day. The morning started off with me having to wash the sheets a second day in a row because my 3 year old's diaper leaked on them - the day before I had to wash the comforter because he had an explosion in his diaper and it ended up on my bed. Then later that afternoon the DOG peed on my bed!! All 4 layers which produced 3 more loads of laundry to do (on top of the 2 I did earlier) and he got a long stream on the carpet which meant I had to get out the carpet cleaner.

As I walked by the windows in the front of the house I saw all these blue things in the farm field across the street. After getting a better look I realized they were grocery bags (with nothing in them). Trying to do the right thing (we know the farmers) I went out there to get them....in my flipflops. Dumb dumb dumb dumb. I forgot about the dirt aspect of it. Our grass was kinda frozen but their thick dirt...better yet MUD was not. I got all the bags and a can that was thrown on our lawn. My flipflops were disgusting. I had a ton of mud on them and my feet, even some leftover pieces of soy bean scraps on them. I walked into my house and went to the bathroom to wash off my flipflops and feet.

Now, please realize not even an hour prior to this I just steam cleaned the carpets from the dog. I forgot about that and now I tracked mud in the house. It was also all on my kitchen floor too, which I just mopped the night before. I couldn't finish washing my feet because my son was due home any minute so I went into the living room to open the front door to be able to keep my eye on the bus, and continued to wash my feet using towels at the kitchen sink. Just that barefoot walk into the living room to the front door now has mud on them (they are beige carpets).

My son came home and asked if he can go to our neighbor's house but I said no because he had a test the next day that I want him to study for. That turned into about 1-2 hours of difficultness with moods from him. We ended up going to bed late doing homework and I get up early with hubby (4am). During all this my youngest son was making a ton of messes. First I vacuumed up the loose mud. Before getting to the steam cleaner he took a bunch of his letters and threw them up in the air and said it was snowing...normally that's cute...not now. I picked them up and got out the steam cleaner. After I was done, he went and found these foam shape puzzle things (there are a lot!) and threw them up in the air. He threw them in such a fashion that the entire floor in the living room was covered.

A cluttered home stresses me out. I hate when my house is messy and at times I hate just as much to clean it. I'm being real here people. I've been battling resentment to a level that should be illegal. I snap at everything and everyone. I've cried every day the past week.

Sometimes ladies, life happens. We're not always this joyful homemaker, and I battle with guilt about it because I KNOW how I'm supposed to be and at times (many times) I'm not. I'm in this journey right along with you.

I'm starting to figure out WHY I am the way I am. One major thing has to do with money and my youngest. Money is tight, like it is for many of you. So we don't go anywhere in order to save gas. Well I miss going out, I miss going to the park, I miss just walking around the mall (other than a five minute peek to see what was in the mall by me, I haven't been in one in 3 years). My youngest plays a big part in this as well...and to some degree my oldest.

Hubby and I, before kids, used to get food (whether take out or we brought it) and would park in front of the Connecticut River, eat and chat...we did this often. Now we are in Ohio and not really near a river but we have a few ponds and a lake. I would love to do that again, but what would happen is my youngest can't handle sitting still so he'll be a pain and my oldest loves to talk so much that you want to strangle him. So what would be a relaxing evening would be nothing but stress. That's where the resentment comes in. My youngest has been rather difficult since the day he was born. To get any sleep he had to sleep with us. Fast forward 3 years and he is STILL in our bed. Hubby and I don't even get to really cuddle anymore. There is some more resentment. Basically I'm bored with life. I am literally home all day...I've mentioned on here before that we only have one car so hubby takes that to work. We live on a street that is 55 mph, not close enough to anything within walking distance so I am truly home ALL DAY. Other than grocery shopping we don't go anywhere. It's the same thing every day.

Another reason is no matter what I do lately, I'm met with resistance. There are certain things that need to be changed in my home and I am fought tooth and nail. I hate to admit it but I just give up. Sometimes I hate having so much responsibility. My oldest doesn't really have chores, other than picking up stuff when asked. The reason WHY he doesn't have any chores is because it's just another thing that he has a hissy fit over. Dear God I hate all these temper tantrums and attitudes and whining that come out of my boys. My oldest is 7...isn't this nonsense supposed to stop? I get reports back from teachers and even people from church on how great a kid he is. I even had a mom of 6, who was a teacher in one of his classes at church, come up to me and tell me that there is something special about my son - to the point her eyes teared! Why don't I get THAT child?!! Why do I get the one who wants to fight me all the time, the one who tells me everything I do wrong and makes me feel like a crappy mom?! Why don't I get the sweet child?!

Every day it's the same messes. And any plan to do something about it, again, is fought with resistance. Many times I just do things myself because it is easier that way. But is it really?

Tomorrow I'm going to write about what I did to overcome this. So stay tuned.

Book Review: The Respect Dare

2013-01-13T00:05:00.000-05:00

The title of this book just caught my attention. The Respect Dare. And THEN the subtitle totally did me in, "40 Days to a Deeper Connection with God and Your Husband." I mean, who doesn't want THAT?!!

This is an excellent book. It talks about man's greatest need being respect, which I think most Christian women know, but don't REALLY know...if you know what I mean lol. This isn't a book to rush through. You need a journal to go along with this. I flew through the beginning part of the book and once I got to the dares I just could NOT rush through them. I am reviewing this book, but I really want to follow the 40 day plan. So here is my review and then I'm off to get this dare started!!

Each day starts off with a verse from scripture. Then it goes into explaining how that verse applies to us, following that is a true story of a married couple that went through something similar to that days dare. After you read all that good stuff, you go onto some questions you write in your journal, a little more explanation on what to do, and lastly you have a prayer to read or suggestions for prayer.

I highly recommend this book!!!

I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review from Booksneeze. All my opinions are my own.

My One Word Theme...or whatever you call it

2013-01-12T01:30:00.000-05:00

LOL...I am TOTALLY jumping on the one...theme...year...word...thing that seems to be popular in the blogging community. Normally I don't but this particular word keeps popping in my head and I really like it so I'm going to make it my theme!

Wanna know what it is? Oh...and if you're looking for my Saturday funny pictures...they should be BELOW this post if I scheduled everything right lol

Yup...cozy. (I kinda used Jen's logo from her blog to make my own little logo hehe)

Many people have meaningful words (which are great!) but I can definitely increase my coziness factor at home.

What do I mean by "cozy?"

More warmth in the home

I mean this in many different ways

When we get some extra money I want to get us all some cozy pajamas to where while we are at home.

I want to get my boys some slippers.

I want to get curled up under the blankets and watch more movies as a family and read books together.

I want to create a more warm atmosphere by being more joyful

I want to bake more, even simple things as biscuits

Stay home more

I want to look at my family AS a family of people I love and NOT a group of people that cause me work

I want to let my perfectionism go and my rules in my head go and just enjoy the people I love in my home

There are a ton more reasons but of course as I'm writing they aren't coming to my memory. Since I'll be posting this on the side of my blog, with this post linked, I'm sure I'll update it when I think of them :-)

Did any of you chose a word this year? What was it?

Book Review: What You Need to Know About Bible Prophecy

2013-01-12T00:30:00.000-05:00

"What You Need to Know About Bible Prophecy: 12 Lessons That Can Change Your Life," by Max Anders is a pretty neat book. It's a book about the end times, which seems to be all the rage now. It's broken up into 12 Chapters...or "lessons" and is a great Bible Study! The chapters aren't too long, which I LOVE!, so you can really do a lesson a day if you'd like. Each chapter has a bunch of questions at the end. They begin the study with a "Speed Bump" section. That basically stops and makes sure you understand what you just read about. Then there is a "Fill in the Blank" section, followed by a "for further thought and discussion" section. But that's not it...it then has an interesting section called "what if I don't believe?" And lastly there is a section called "for Further Study" and it lists scriptures and other books you can read to get more information.

In the beginning of the book there is a couple pages that show you how to teach the book in case you wanted to lead a study or get together, so that's helpful if you're interested in something like that. I also love that he shares different theories of what other "experts" think...it gives you a whole rounded view.

All in all it's a great book. I find it refreshing to study because it's something I normally wouldn't study...really gets your brain going!

I received this book for free, from Booksneeze, in exchange for an honest review. All my opinions are my own.

My biggest failure

2013-01-11T01:00:00.000-05:00

I told you that I learned a lot over my blog break and I think this is the biggest eye opener I had.

My biggest failure has been responsibility.

One of my largest pet peeves with my oldest son is that he is lazy and takes the easy way out of everything. Anything I ask him to do he whines and complains about it.

After complaining about him, God showed me that that is EXACTLY how I look to Him. I try to find the easy way out of cleaning, disciplining my kids, and doing just about everything.

I'm almost 30 but sometimes I think I'm still mentally a teenager. I just want to be left alone to play video games, talk on the phone and listen to music.

It's sad it's taken this long.for me to realize it.

I've been giving into my kids if it would just shut them up.

I now have a 3 year old who thinks he rules the roost.

My oldest would fight me on homework so I would make it as easy as possible for him...only for him to not fail just one test but THREE!!

The reason homeschooling didn't work for me is because I FAILED to make my kids mind. That is the short end of it.

My life became chaotic because I refused to be responsible for it!

I have a hard time following a schedule because I still live in the atmosphere of following my feelings.

I have a lot to learn, but thank God He put people in my life that I can look up to in this area and truly have a heart to just help me.

My biggest advice I can give you is ask God what your REAL problems are and be willing to face them. That way God can help you through them.

I was blinded by my real problem. I thought I needed more patience...although that's part of it...it wasn't the MAIN problem...or the ROOT cause of it all.

When my oldest was born, I was an on fire mom. I did everything by the book. I didn't battle with laziness at all. But once my youngest was born, it all went out the window. I had a very hard time juggling him and everything else. Granted he was rather difficult, I was still blind.

Don't be blind!!

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free"

-John 8:32

My son's school doesn't have a spring break, but they do have an extended winter break (they are off until the middle of January). So for the past few weeks it has been a "testing" ground for me with homeschooling. I truly know that God has put it on my heart again but I need to prove to hubby (and myself) that I can handle it. The changes that have happened in ONLY 2 weeks is amazing!

Ladies, if there is an area in your life that you just plain don't like about yourself, BRING IT TO GOD!

Having somewhat of a deadline (this summer) to get my act together helps me A LOT. I can't procrastinate with wanting to change or to DO the things that I know God has shown me. I also surrender my will a lot easier knowing I won't change any other way.

When I homeschooled in 2011-2012 it ruined my relationship with my son. When he has vacation, it's a battle zone in this house. However the last few weeks our relationship has gotten better.

Why?

It's simple...I DO what God has been putting on my heart.

And I have been more responsible and not letting things slide!

Again, ladies, if there is something in your life that you don't like, ask God WHY it's that way and see if it's something that you yourself are causing! And then take God's hand and have Him guide you out of it!

God bless you in your journey as a mom, wife and beautiful homemaker!

The REAL Reason Why We Struggle

2013-01-09T01:00:00.000-05:00

[image source]

I think this is the most important post I have ever written and I hope it truly blesses you. My prayer is God uses it to stir us up!!

Do you ever battle with anger, stress, guilt, lack of self-worth & self esteem issues, not feeling appreciated, no one understanding you, loneliness (even if you are married and/or have a large family), fear, and so on?

I have the answer for it all.

But let me tell you a story really quick.

I have been a Christian all my life, but I didn't start having an actual RELATIONSHIP until I was out of high school. When I was 18 I moved into my very own apartment, BY MYSELF. Living on my own I had all the time in the world (minus working a full time job) and I had such a close relationship with God. I never experienced intimacy like that before. It was as if He was as close as my very breath. I would eat at the table and "chat" with Him while eating...I even lit a candle. There was a book that I loved back then that changed my life and it is called "Falling in Love with Jesus" by Dee Brestin and Kathy Troccoli.

Dee wrote from the experience of being married and Kathy wrote from the singles aspect of it. They taught women that Jesus is our Husband and we are His bridegrooms. And I looked at Him as such. Even going grocery shopping, I felt His presence and walked through the store as if His arms were around me the whole time. I had peace like I never had before. I didn't worry about anything, I had no fears (except for bugs...Dear God why did You make BUGS?!!!), I truly had the revelation that God loved me.

Fast forward 9 years. I'm married, I have 2 kids, I'm a homemaker, I have people to take care of...I no longer have all that time in the world, and so on. My "position" with God changed. I started having less and less time with Him...to the point that intimacy was gone. I still depended on God, I still had faith in Him, I didn't stop my walk with Him, but that level of intimacy that hits on an EMOTIONAL level was gone.

I've battled with resentment BIG time, along with a huge dose of impatience, selfishness with my time, I always felt like a bad mom, wife, homemaker, etc...anything that was brought to my attention that I forgot to do or did wrong would wreak emotional havoc on me. I was a wreck! That was when I took my blog break, however I've battled with this for a few years now.

About 3 weeks into my break I had this HUGE desire to have that intimacy back again. I went looking for that book I mentioned above. Along with finding that book I found another book called "Heart Hunger: Letting God Meet Your Emotional Needs."

You see...the book "Falling in Love with Jesus" always brought me back to my small apartment when I was single. Although I still read it (it's one of the few books I've read from start to finish, and I've read it so much it's falling apart), I can't get the same satisfaction I once did from it. This other book, I don't remember when I bought it, I don't remember why I bought it or even where I bought it. I've never read it before. It's just been in my collection for a few years now. But looking at it was like seeing a flashing neon sign.

I decided to start reading it again, and sure enough it was exactly what I needed.

Ladies, the root cause of all our issues, especially our emotional issues, all stem from our intimacy with God. If you TRULY know in your heart and soul that God loves you, I mean REALLY loves you, you wouldn't have any of these problems.

Earlier that same day BEFORE finding that book, I brought up a stack of teaching tapes all on selfishness, resentment and all those other things. I was DETERMINED to get past this! But God showed me that that wasn't what I needed.

Jesus told us that the GREATEST commandment is to Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.

Do you know what it truly means to do that?

If you truly loved God with all your being, then all the things that you are trying to change about yourself, will just happen.

When you truly and I mean TRULY love God and have a close, DEEP AND PERSONAL intimate relationship with Him, you naturally are more peaceful and loving. You don't need anyone else's approval, acceptance, you don't care what people think of you....you are just so close to God that nothing else matters and of course in that God is changing you.

When I would clean the house, or reorganize something, I would EXPECT my husband to not only notice but to pat me on the back and say "good job." However, many times he wouldn't even notice. BUT he would notice something I haven't done. I used to clean just to shut my husband up (he's a clean freak). A few days prior to my finding the Heart Hunger book, I was so emotionally drained. I felt worthless, like no one cared, I was lonely and that all I do is wrong. The crazy part is, I was surrounded by people who love me. My problem was I didn't have that intimacy with God that we so desperately need.

Ladies, if you don't have that level of intimacy with God PLEASE stop all other studies. Stop trying to learn about patience, and fear, and homemaking, and finances and having a powerful prayer life and whatever else you're studying. Nothing in life is more important than your RELATIONSHIP with Jesus. Nothing is more precious than your walk being so close that it hits you on such an emotional level that it makes you almost hard to breathe. Don't settle for anything less!!!! There is no reason to go on with all your studies and the books your reading and so on, if you don't know with all your being that Jesus loves you so much!! Okay now I'm crying lol.

"If your relationship with Christ, at this point, consists only of a quick greeting and request each day, it needs more"

-Cindi McMenamin - Heart Hunger

When I would have my morning time with God I went through the motions sort of. I mean I still talked to Him, I felt a little of His presence, but that was about it.

Ladies, imagine not having a spiritual "to-do list" so to speak. Imagine not having to have your morning time with God because every waking moment IS your time with God. Imagine craving Him throughout the day where even a whole hour in the morning is no way near enough. Imagine desiring Him so much to the point it's HARD to do anything else.

"We can read His Word and pray 'til we're blue in the face, but until we make the decision to get serious with God, we're still just dating and testing the waters. It's the dating stage where many Christians stop." - Cindi McMenamin - Heart Hunger

We hear this message that Jesus loves us all the time that we almost tune it out. But ladies listen. Jesus loves YOU. If YOU were the only single person on the face of this earth, He still would of died for you. He longs for you to love Him just as much in return.

"God wants to be the ultimate relationship in our life, the One from whom we derive our greatest satisfaction, the One whose love we crave, the One who steals our heart away....He still considers Himself our husband. That's right - we have a "holy Husband." Throughout the Bible, God uses the illustration of a bridegroom seeking his bride to describe His desired relationship with His chosen ones. That kind of pursuing, that kind of love, makes Him more than just a Supreme Being whom we thank before meals and sing and pray to on Sunday. That makes Him a God who is intimately acquainted with us. He is ready for the commitment. Are you?" - Cindi McMenamin - Heart Hunger

Ladies, PLEASE, I am BEGGING you, don't settle for anything less.

"An abundant life for a woman is a fulfilled life, a life of joy, meaning, purpose, satisfaction, love. When we make Jesus our First Love, above everyone else, we experience an intimacy and joy we never knew before. And we begin trusting Him with our emotional life." - Cindi McMenamin - Heart Hunger

I highly recommend you look into this book. You can find it HERE on Better World Books for $4-$6 with free shipping. I also suggest looking into the other book I mentioned...you can find that HERE on BWB as well...just make sure to get the book and not the workbook...although the workbook is great (I have that as well). That book is actually a trilogy (click HERE for the 2nd book and HERE for the 3rd book)

The level of peace I have now is unexplainable....I can't put it to words.

Just like you might have certain CDs that are for you and hubby, I have one for my time with God. It's not a worship CD...it's not even in the Christian section. Technically it's labeled under "New Age" but it's just instrumental music. I play that, and have a notebook where I have begun to write love letters to God. No requests, no complaining...just stuff on our relationship. It is the most precious part of my day.

Here is a Youtube Video with one of the songs (email subscribers click HERE)

A little update...since I wrote this I have gone back and forth with it. You have to be CONSISTENT with that time with God to STAY at that level of intimacy...something I am still learning.

"Cleaning House, A Mom's 12-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement" by Kay Wills Wyma - A BOOK REVIEW

2012-11-20T13:29:00.000-05:00

[amazon link]

I have to say, this is an OUTSTANDING book. Ladies, if you battle with entitlement in your house, then you just gotta check out this book. For some reason this generation of kids thinks that everything is done for them and they don’t have to work. Well Kay Willis Wyma battles this in a quite unique way…one month at a time. (Check out Kay’s Website HERE)

That’s right…she chooses a different task each month to tackle. She began a 12-month experiment of teaching her kids certain responsibilities like: Making your bed, doing your own laundry, cleaning their bathrooms, meal planning along with helping with cooking, even fixing things around the house!! (You can read a sample of Chapter One HEREand her Bio HERE)

So basically, everything the previous generation used to do and teach their kids. What happened and what caused the whole entitlement generation anyways?!!

One thing that stands out the most with the author is her sense of honest truth with a side of humor. I’m all about honesty and being real! And I can totally relate to her struggle with gaining control in the house since I’m naturally a pushover.

I would have to say that my only complaint is that she rewarded them financially. I truly wish I could do that for my boys but I can’t right now. But there are tons of ways to reward (movie night, game night, ice cream, bake together, read books, crafts, etc), depending on your child’s age.

All in all, I plan on actually following this book in about a year or so (need my kids to get a little bit older), maybe changing some of the tasks and what not. I don’t have teens so there won’t be any household repairs done, but you catch my drift. It’s definitely a tool you can use and I recommend it very much!! You can get more info HERE.

You can check out her Facebook page HERE.

Disclaimer: I received this copy free from Blogging for Books in exchange for an honest review...all opinions are my own.

Craziest and Most Personal Book Review I’ve ever written

2012-11-16T01:00:00.000-05:00

My normal book reviews are of me just writing a simple review and moving on. I’m part of 3 programs where you get free books in exchange for reviews. I write my review, wait for it to be approved, and grab another book.

This one is different.

I was contacted to review a particular book and I agreed.

That book was this one:

“Dreams and Visions: Is Jesus Awakening the Muslim World,”by Tom Doyle & Greg Webster. It’s a book about Jesus showing up in dreams and visions all over the Muslim world…just like the title explains.

Now this book is probably a great read.

Only problem is, I didn’t get that book.

I instead was sent this book:

“The Fantasy Fallacy – Exposing the Deeper Meaning BehindSexual Thoughts, a Response to the FIFTY SHADES OF GREY Phenomenon” by ShannonEthridge.

I capitalized the words/title “Fifty Shades of Grey” for a reason…I’ll get to that in a minute.

I have had this book for awhile now. They wanted me to read it and write a review in 6 weeks after receiving the book. I think I am way past that time. The reason it has taken me so long is because I couldn’t decide how HONEST I wanted to be. This blog is all about being honest with my faults and putting them out there so other women may know that they aren’t the only ones. But this is a very PERSONAL fault and I have been hesitating tremendously on talking about it. I’ve never been this personal on here before and I’m still kind of weary about writing about it. I have never heard any other woman EVER talk about this struggle and certainly never blasting it all over the internet. But by reading this book, I now know that I am not the only one since a book was needed to be written on it.

Let’s back up to this past summer.

You know that phrase “curiosity kills the cat?” Well I got shot, run over, and struck by lightning by God because of my curiosity.

I kept hearing so much about this crazy book “Fifty Shades of Grey.” I didn’t think much about it. That was until I read a blog post from a Christian woman talking badly about it. I don’t remember what blog it was…I just saw it in a link up party somewhere and it caught my attention.

Unlike normal Christian women who would take another’s advice, it only made my curiosity stronger. So I took the book out of the library (digital copy of course…didn’t want to be caught dead in the library holding that book lol). It’s a rather long book, but I finished it in 3 short days.

Can I be honest?

I LOVED the book. In fact the ending upset me so much I was IN TEARS and immediately went to reserve the second book in the series.

Here’s where God comes in.

The next morning I woke up really early (not on purpose) and had a ton of energy (never happened like that before) and had the strongest desire to read the Bible.

Want to know what verse I IMMEDIATELY came across? ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?!!!

“Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. OBSCENE STORIES, foolish talk, and coarse jokes – these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF CHRIST AND OF GOD. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.”

-Ephesians 5:4-5

So immediately my defenses came up. I started making excuses on why it wasn’t that bad (I really wanted to read that second book and didn’t want to hear this right now). So excuses after excuses…I then turned the page and found this:

“Don’t be fooled by those who try to EXCUSE THESE SINS, for the ANGER OF GOD WILL FALL ON ALL WHO DISOBEY HIM. Don’t participate in the things these people do. For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light. For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.”

-Ephesians 5:6-9

Can we just say the fear of the Lord came on me in a way it never has before?!

I was literally shaking. I even broke down crying (I then went and canceled the reserve).

Now here is where the honesty part comes in. This really wasn’t about Fifty Shades of Grey.

Let’s rewind about 8 years…when my first child was born. I had a very hard struggle separating being a mom, wife and woman once I became a mother. I actually felt dirty, like I was doing something wrong if I had “relations.” I never wanted it. I couldn’t go from taking care of my baby and then being a “wife” if you know what I mean.

So (again here comes the blatant honest truth) I became dependent on pornography. I never heard of women having problems in this area, so I kept it to myself. This went on for a couple years. Now I wouldn’t say I had an addiction to it, but I did depend on it for, uh “help”.

Well God really challenged me on that and I stopped.

But I replaced it with something else.

That “something else” was books.

Erotic books.

In fact, I had books that would probably make the author of Fifty Shades of Grey blush.

I continued reading books like that until this past summer. ..until God scared the daylights out of me.

So a month goes by after that “scare” from God, and I agreed to that other book. And then here comes THIS book.

Tell me that wasn’t God?!!!

God didn’t just demand I stop doing something and that’s it. He provided a resource to help me in that specific area.

I don’t know what went on in the shipping department of this place. They were supposed to send me a book about Jesus (even the paper work that came with the book was for the book on Jesus) and instead shipped me a book on erotica. But their “error” was actually God’s doing. And I am so grateful.

Situations like this make it very hard for me to understand how there are actually people out there that don’t think God exists.

But anyways…on to the review.

And continuing with my honesty, I haven’t actually finished the book. It hits me at every level that I have to take my sweet time with it. I’m also struggling with fighting against it and I hate it. Please lift me up in prayer in regards to this…I can definitely use some. Normally I just write a review to say what I thought of the book and what it’s about, but this one is totally different.

Instead this review is about letting you know my situation in case any of you are in it and that there is a resource to help you through it. I highly recommend you read it and read it slowly (like I am).

I have included the actual book description that is on the back of the book and the table of contents to give a clearer description of this book.

Here is what it says on the back of the book:

Erotica has invaded more than our minds – it has exploded onto our bestseller lists and into our bedrooms.

Many are looking to sexual and emotional fantasies as avenues to fulfillment.

Our fantasies, however, are not reliable guides into the future—they are actually rocky road maps from our past. Best-selling author Shannon Ethridge theorizes, “Fantasies are simply the brain’s way of trying to heal itself from unresolved tragedies and traumas. We mentally compartmentalize our pain to make room for pleasure.”

Fantasies have deep psychological roots, and if acted on many of them can do deep psychological damage. Rather than let fantasies rule us, let’s take out the sting and bring them under God’s rule, allowing the Lord to heal us from the brokenness and insecurities that cause inappropriate fantasies to haunt us.

Without being judgmental or condemning, Shannon helps us dissect several common and often-disturbing topics, such as:

• a distorted fascination with pornography

• the mental pursuit of multiple partners

• the lure of gay and lesbian desires

• bondage, domination, and sadomasochism (BDSM)

With tips for controlling unwanted fantasies and resources for providing a safe haven for recovery, The Fantasy Fallacy helps us recognize and heal our emotional pain and equips us to help others do the same.

And here is the table of contents:

Introduction: Reading Between the Lions

Chapter 1 – Why Discuss Sexual Fantasies?

Behind the Curtain: How is Fantasy a Friend?

Chapter 2 – The Benefits of Boundaries

Behind the Curtain: Retraining Our Brains

Chapter 3 – The Faces Behind Sexual Fantasies

Behind the Curtain: Sophia’s Layers of Loneliness

Chapter 4 – Pornography: The Fantasy Factor

Behind the Curtain: From Pain to Pleasure to Pain Again

Chapter 5 – Bartering with Our Bodies

Behind the Curtain: Searching for the Softer Side of God

Chapter 6 – When “One Flesh” Isn’t Enough Flesh

Behind the Curtain: Brent’s Rock Bottom

Chapter 7 – Grappling with Gay and Lesbian Fantasies

Behind the Curtain: Tracing the Roots of Same-Sex Fantasies

Chapter 8 – Our Fascination with Pleasure, Pain, and Power

Behind the Curtain: What’s Up with Sexual Fetishes

Chapter 9 – Putting Fantasy in Its Place

Behind the Curtain: Free at Last!

Conclusion: The Rest of the Story

She also has a few appendixes of info

So I hope you’ll look into this book if you are struggling in this area (feel free to email me at cafeshoppe_424(@)yahoo(dot)com if you’d like to chat privately about it) and I also hope you don’t look at me differently lol. It’s a risk I’m willing to take if it means helping someone out.

God bless you all!

Routines VS Schedules

2012-11-02T01:00:00.000-04:00

I have been doing some thinking now about routines and schedules. I mentioned in my post “Wow, I’ve Grown” that not only am I on a routine, I’m loving it.

However, I still can’t stand schedules. (You can see my post, “How to Create a Schedule When You Hate Schedules”), but I have recently figured out WHY.

Let’s talk about cleaning first.

I have tried every cleaning type “plan” there is (ex: Flylady, cleaning certain rooms each day, etc) and none of them work for me

I finally had figured it out that I am exactly like my mother. Basically what we do is keep up with the daily tasks that NEED to be done, and then when it comes to what is usually referred to as “detailed cleaning,” we usually get a huge desire to clean everything all at once. This happens to me about once a month.

Here’s my routine (which will help me explain why some of us hate schedules)

MORNING ROUTINE

4 AM - spend time in the Word. (Note – I also go to bed around 8ish so I’m able to do this. God has recently answered my prayers that my youngest will give up his nap and go to bed earlier.)

5:00 - fold the clothes

5:15 - empty the dishwasher.

5:25 - start making hubby’s lunch, breakfast and pack my son’s school lunch.

6:00 – wake up my son, get his breakfast going, read a little from a kid’s study bible to him

6:30 – make all the beds, clean my room, put clothes away

My main goal with my morning routine is once my son is in school I already have all the normal daily tasks done! I leave the day “open” until about 3pm. During the day I try to be consistent with putting things away instead of leaving them out, I rinse whatever dishes I’m using and put them in the dishwasher so dishes don’t pile up, and I try to stick to the suggestions I wrote on “How to Never Take Time Out to Clean Your Bathroom Again.”

AFTERNOON ROUTINE

3 PM – Pick up toys, vacuum, get mail, make sure house is neat, prepare a snack for my son once he gets home

EVENING/BEFORE BED ROUTINE

6:00 PM – Throw a load of wash in the washing machine, clean up from dinner, load dishwasher, wipe down counters, empty trash, prep morning coffee, have hubby’s tea bags and equal out along with filling the teapot.

7:00 – Put clothes in the dryer

8:00 – Shower, layout clothes for tomorrow, go to bed

I love the routine because it truly blesses ME.

But I need a PURPOSE or a REASON to do certain things at certain times. For example, at 6pm I start a load of wash BECAUSE I want it in the dryer before I go to bed. I want the clothes done and dried BECAUSE I want to be able to fold it and put it away early in the morning so I don’t have to worry about it all day.

At 3 I clean up BECAUSE everyone comes home around 4:30 and it gives me enough time (including interruptions from my youngest) to have the house nice for them

I prep my morning coffee BECAUSE the minute I get up I sneak out to the kitchen and turn the pot on, and then go back and get dressed and ready for the day. So when I’m done, the coffee is done as well

I fold the clothes at 5 in the morning BECAUSE I want it done before hubby and the kids get up. It usually takes me about 10-15 minutes, which is WHY at 5:15 I empty the dishwasher. These two chores I hate to get behind in and I don’t want it over my head all day if I haven’t gotten it done.

So everything I do in my routine and at specific times is for a REASON.

I have no reason to clean the TV at 11. I don’t need to get the mail at 12. I have no reason to do specific cleaning tasks like that unless they truly help me. There needs to be A REASON to do these things at a specific time.

I have recently been in somewhat of a cleaning rut. I was sick for 2 weeks and then once I got better my son was home sick for a week. But a few days ago, I got this huge desire to clean. I reorganized my bedroom closet, my son’s closet and his dresser drawers, I switched out my youngest 3T clothes with 4T, I reorganized the living room closet and steam cleaned the living room carpet.

So instead of scheduling ways to do these tasks a little at a time, I rather go full blast when I have that desire. I have noticed I get this “desire” about a week before my…uh…”friend” comes (catch my drift?)

I don’t want to have a list of things that I have to do that day just because I wrote it out to do it that way.

I vacuum every day, sometimes more than once because my husband likes clean floors. I really could careless if there are smudges on the windows or TV Screen…I’ll get to them when I’m in the mood too. It doesn’t change the dynamics of how clean the house looks.

I don’t clean my microwave until I see that it needs cleaning. I don’t have a set schedule to clean the oven. If it looks dirty, I’ll eventually clean it. But I do wipe down the top daily.

I read recently in The Complete Tightwad Gazette that the author (a mom of 6) has been asked a lot how she does it all when it comes to cleaning. She basically said she keeps on top of things that will actually cause more work if not done (dishes, laundry) and doesn’t focus too much on things that will take the same amount of time regardless how long it’s been done (ex: dusting)

Since I have come to this realization, I noticed that I am much happier. I spend more time with my boys, I’m calmer since I don’t have a long to do list, I read more, I even have time to play a few Facebook games each day (loving Farmville 2 and Chefville)

And you know what? My house is clean. Every room is organized, I normally don’t have anything on the dining room table, my counters are clean, my bathrooms are clean, and so on. I’m not saying this to brag…I’m saying this to show you that you can keep a clean home without needing a schedule or some type of plan to do so.

HOWEVER, if a schedule works for you and/or a cleaning “plan” then by all means stick to it. I’m mainly writing to people who battle with schedules like I have for so many years.

I just want to tell you that it is absolutely OKAY to not follow one. As long as you bless the home you live in by keeping it clean, it doesn’t matter HOW you got it done.

I recently made a schedule, but when it came time to clean the fridge, I thought “why do I have to do this right now?” I even get mad, like a kid being forced to do his chores.

Really…WHY would I have to do this? It would be better for me, to keep my days clear (average 7 hours a week day that is technically “clear”) and when I decide “ooh I think I’ll clean the fridge” then it will get done.

It is important to us, God, and our family to keep our home clean but it is NOT important HOW it got done.

WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU, PUT YOUR ALL INTO THAT

Questions for those who hate schedules:

Have you noticed that when you try to follow one, you almost get mad because you don’t really see the purpose in doing certain things on it?

What bothers you the most about schedules?

Even though you would be in control of your schedule (you are the boss of it, it’s not the boss of you) do you still struggle with feeling like something is telling you what to do?