My Argument Against Husbands VS a Clean House

Before listening to my "argument" you need to listen to the video below (email subscribers click HERE)




 

Look...I love all these ladies in this video. I read all their blogs and they have been a blessing in my life. So my argument isn't against THEM, but their answer.

NOW, let me just say I TOTALLY understand where this woman is coming from. My husband is the EXACT same way and I catch myself saying the same thing "I wish my husband was like normal men." Now when we say normal, we mean a man who doesn't care how the house looks. I rather have a husband that is a bit of a slob than have one that is a neat freak. At least that's what I tell myself at times, but in reality I don't think that's true. I love going out to run an errand and come home and realize he's cleaned up. If he truly was a slob then EVERYTHING would be on me.

ANYWAYS...My ARGUMENT is... what about the husband?!!!!

She has a 20 MONTH OLD BABY!!!!! Why can't the HUSBAND relax a little? Why can't the husband say "hey, I know the little one keeps you busy, so I don't expect the house to be perfect?" I'm not talking about giving her a pass for a sloppy house..I'm talking not being such a PERFECTIONIST!! How DARE they tell her to work harder than she already is!!

Yes the Bible tells us to submit. But the Bible ALSO has a spot for husbands. HELLO?!!! They are supposed to treat their WIVES like JESUS treated the church!!!!

Picture Jesus as a husband in today's world. Do you really think He'll come home from working all day, plop down on the chair in front of the TV, and expect his wife who is STILL WORKING to do everything for him???! Do you think He would throw even more UNREALISTIC demands on His wife who is already exhausted from the kids HE helped to make?

Shame on that husband!!!!

My mom is a neat freak. She's not as bad as she used to be but I moved out as soon as I could (a few months after I turned 18) to get away from it! And what did I do nearly 2 years later? I MARRIED a neat freak. Can I be honest? I'm TIRED of cleaning to shut someone else up. I want to be the woman of the house where people clean to keep ME quiet. I don't even get a chance to CARE how the house looks because I'm too worried about what hubby thinks.

On another note, I'm kinda having some issues with what Courtney said, or what her hubby said to her about her needing to "step it up." What gives any man, whether they are truly the head of the household or not, the right to tell his wife that she needs to clean more? Look, if the woman is a slob...then that's fine. But if she's working really hard already, he has absolutely NO RIGHT (in my opinion) to open his big ole mouth and tell her to do more. That would be like me telling my husband "you know what hubby, I see your working really hard to provide for this family, but it's not enough...go get another job."

Okay, so I'm done with my little rant lol. My husband is a great man and helps me out in whatever ways he can. In fact I just chatted with him recently and I realized that his expectations are not nearly as high as I thought they were...I was losing my mind!

Now, I do have to agree with a little bit about what they were saying towards the end. We really need to change our focus on WHY we clean. If your only reason for cleaning (like mine sometimes is) is to keep your husband from complaining, you very well may get yourself into some resentment.

What is your FIRST thought(s) when your little one dumps out his toys? If it's something like "oh, now I have to clean THAT up too before hubby gets home" or "oh great, just another thing for me to clean before hubby sees it," etc...then you're cleaning for the wrong reasons.

It's really hard to find that balance of keeping the house clean for your husband and enjoying your role as homemaker. Our husbands work hard to provide for us, they deserve to come home to a nice clean home to relax to (we also deserve a clean home since we are in it ALL THE TIME!). But we also work hard all day and sometimes our kids can thwart our entire cleaning. There was a time where I had the house almost perfect. And just during the time frame of my husband PULLING IN THE DRIVEWAY, my youngest brought toys in the living room and threw them up in the air and all of them scattered all over the living room floor. Plus he dumped bins of toys in the room where he got the toys. So after an hour or so of busting my butt, it looked like I didn't do anything all day. (Hubby is just like Darlene's hubby where he loves the floors clean). A part of me says if my husband wasn't so picky, I wouldn't care so much. I really wish I knew what it was like to truly clean because *I* want it clean, not because someone else does. Again, I totally relate to that reader in the video.

This is the husband that God has given me. I have noticed that I don't do much unless I'm forced. I'm not a neat freak, but I'm not a slob either. However I sometimes wonder how the house would really look if hubby TRULY didn't care how it looked. Would I keep it as clean as I do? I have a feeling God made him the way he did to keep me in line with my homemaking. But sometimes I really wished I had a break from having to care.

I go back and forth with cleaning for God. I noticed when I'm "back," it's because I haven't spent enough quality time with God...you know the kind where it hits you on an emotional level like I mentioned in THIS post? When I'm on fire for God I just want to take care of the home that HE (not hubby) has given me, to BLESS my family with a clean home (not because I HAVE TO), and to ENJOY my role as a homemaker (not depending on hubby or a clean house to give me my value).

So ladies, I hope I encouraged you by showing that you are not alone with your cleaning frustrations. In fact about 90% of our fights have been over cleaning, so it's not just you! But I also hope I encouraged you to get your time and walk with God where it needs to be so you are truly cleaning for Him and no one else. 

I also recommend you chatting with your husband about what he truly expects. Day in and day out of MY thinking got me to the point where I broke down and sobbed and told him I can't live up to his expectations and I can't take it anymore. He was so confused. I basically have been taking all the years we were married and replaying all the times he got aggravated with something in the house (related to cleaning) and replayed them over and over in my mind. Every little thing that annoyed him, I was trying to prevent and take care of. I never took into account that he has grown and changed and DOES understand that I have a little one that wreaks havoc in this house. He doesn't expect perfection. What I was thinking was totally wrong and I drove myself crazy thinking that way! So make sure you get what hubby is really thinking out in the open. You may be surprised!

I have somewhat of an update HERE