I have come to the decision to stop blogging. I can't seem to find the balance in my life anymore and I need to trim away EVERYTHING that does not involve my family. That means this blog, my book club, and a few other things as well. My family has to come first.
I am not deleting this blog, instead I went through the whole thing and deleted any non-important posts. I went from about 300 posts to under 80. There are some that I just can NOT delete due to obligational reasons (ex: book reviews - I got free books in exchange for the reviews and other ad type things). I have listed all my posts on the right hand side of this blog with a link to each of them.
As I was looking back through my old posts and saw the things that I THOUGHT I was healed from it made me realize that something was wrong. I am NOT healed from them. Maybe I had a little layer of healing, but not complete healing. I'm not letting go until God changes me! And I mean truly CHANGES ME!! Reading through my old posts I see how they just flow through me out onto the screen. I don't have that anymore right now. I truly believe that God has instructed me to take a break...a good long break....even for a couple years or so. I think He lifted His anointing off of it because everything has become effort...there is no ease to it at all...a good sign He wants me to stop.
Many of you find my honesty refreshing. But I have to ask myself, "At what point can I succeed?" If I'm always being "real" and showing that homemaking isn't always easy...when can I truly conquer my struggles? I want to be real to make people realize that they aren't alone in their hard times but at what point can I get above that and truly be done with them? I don't want to always be in the homemaking hospital, so to speak. I want to get to the point where I have checked out from the hospital, totally healed, and can go on and tell others how to get their healing!
I noticed that I was rushing to find answers to my problems so I can post about it on here...only thing is...I didn't give God time to answer...so I made up my own answers, THINKING it was God. It's time I really dig in and live the life that HE wants me to live and move on. I'm tired of all these emotional struggles!
I also need to get every form of input into my life, out. It has gotten to the point where I don't even think for myself! It's what I read on this blog, and in this book and so on. I want it to just be me and God.
I'm battling other issues that have popped up as well and just really need to focus on my living quarters and my life. I can't help or minister to anyone if I'm broken!
I have absolutely no idea what God has in store for me. I WANT to blog, but I don't know exactly when I would start again. Maybe I won't be part of a blog at all...maybe I will be with people I actually see. I've always wanted to have a Bible Study right at my home. Maybe I'll be doing something with my church. I don't know. God isn't even HINTING at me with a possibility. I just have no clue.
If you want to be notified if and when I start up again, I suggest you sign up for my emails on the left side of my blog. That way if I start writing again, you'll get notified.
Until then...I pray God blesses you on your homemaking journey!