Do any of you battle with yourself?
You think you should act a certain way, or sound a certain way, or even think a certain way....but you just don't seem to be able to?
Every now and then I battle with this...and sometimes for a long period of time.
First and foremost, I believe this is an attack from Satan. If he can get you to feel bad about yourself, then you are only focusing on yourself, and then you can't really do any work for God.
I had to fight off this attack recently. I have been reading a lot of other Christian type blogs and I love them.
But then these thoughts kept coming to me:
Look at how elegantly they write
Look at how inspirational and deep they are
I can't compete with that. I don't write that deep. I don't even THINK that deep.
Look at how peaceful they write - sometimes I just sound like I'm mad all the time
On an on these thoughts went. After about a half hour of them, I felt inadequate to even be a Christian blogger!
But then God showed me that HE made me this way. We all have different personalities.
Yes, many who know me in real life would say I'm reserved. I'm not loud and obnoxious. I don't make a scene...I HATE being the center of attention. I hate confrontation and drama.
On the other hand one thing I totally am NOT is phony. I can't put on an act...I really am horrible at it. I can't pretend to like someone. I have no time to really care what someone else thinks of me.
I have been told that I'm outspoken.
Another blogger described me as bold.
I never thought of myself as bold or outspoken. In fact part of me is a coward. I don't stand up for myself when I should and I back down too easily. I was always the quiet shy kid in class. But I do just put things out there and say what I think (within reason of course). To me this is normal. To others I have balls lol. I also have a good sense of humor.
I am a very honest person. I think that being honest with others helps them.
If you are around "perfect" people, then how can you be comfortable?
But if you share your struggles and let people see your weaknesses, then they can put their guard down.
We need to stop trying to BE something that we are not. To my fellow bloggers, don't you DARE try to be a blog writer that you are not!
I am not deep, nor am I going to try to be deep. I have been in the Word all my life and more seriously the past 12 years. You probably won't see me lead a Bible study on here (at least not one that I've created). You're not going to see a biblical series or anything like that on here. I read the Bible at face value and just don't get it the way others do. That's okay. When I need that, God will give it to me. As long as I'm reading it and doing my best to LIVE it, then that's all that matters.
I didn't create this blog to do Bible studies. I created this blog to help out other homemakers who struggle! THAT is my purpose. And if I have to openly share my struggles and weaknesses to do it, then so be it. I really don't know how I'm perceived or how you all view me. I'm a devoted mother, wife and homemaker. But I have bad days like everyone else and I really believe that God uses me to help out others who have them as well.
I'm a big fan of Joyce Meyer (please no comments about her - most people who have anything negative to say about her don't really know what she's about...you might as well be insulting my own mother!). Twelve years ago I became a serious Christian because of her. She helps me every day because she is HONEST. She SHARES her STRUGGLES. She laughs at herself which helps me to calm down and realize I AM normal!
We are all normal!
For those who blog, I believe that God will guide people to our blogs that really need our types of messages. If others don't like it, they can leave. I don't read blogs I don't like, why would I expect someone else to?
I wrote a post last year called "Proud to be the Woman that I am" and I had to reread it to encourage myself. We SHOULD be proud of who we are, flaws and all. If we were perfect we wouldn't need Jesus!!!
Do any of you struggle with this?
Bloggers...do you ever catch yourself comparing your blog to others?