Monday, September 24, 2012

How to create a schedule when you HATE schedules

This started off as a simple post, but then I get going and I feel God moving me in a direction and I go on and on. I was originally thinking of making this a series of posts, but decided to just make it one long one. If you battle with cleaning and/or schedules…please stick with me!

Since I started this blog, many of you know that I hate schedules and don't work well with one. I also know that many of YOU are the same way. With the popularity of Home Management Binders some of us wonder what is wrong with us? Maybe you don't...I know some do (I did for awhile).

Many of you want a Home Management Binder but feel since you don't follow a schedule, then what's the point?

While I was reading a little bit of "Living Beyond Your Feelings" by Joyce Meyer (before deciding to postpone the reading on here), I have learned that my personality type is Melancholy. This has been a huge revelation to me.

Maybe all of us who struggle with schedules and such are all Melancholy. Do you like or even need to always have a plan? Are you a perfectionist? Do you rather do it yourself because you know you won't like it the way others do it? Do you want or even need tasks to be done a very specific way? Do you get easily discouraged and need some form of encouragement or motivation? Are you more of a “deep” person who thinks a lot?

(Click HERE to find out what your personality type is. And since the test was free, they don't give you "detailed" info on what that means so I searched it. Click on the links for your personality type for more info: Melancholy, Sanguine, Choleric, and Phlegmatic.)

Those are all signs of a melancholy personality. I have put 2 and 2 together and realized that if you mix a person who needs to always have a plan AND battles with perfectionism that that will equal someone who just can’t work on a schedule – at least not without God’s help. You can make a plan, but since it won't work perfectly, many times you won't even bother. And if you do, there is a good chance you won't be happy with the results because you weren’t able to follow it perfectly.

But let me ask you something…is there anything that you do every day around the same time already – on your own?

For example, I try to get as much basic cleaning (emptying dishwasher, laundry, beds made, etc) as I can get done before my son goes to school. Then I clean up (toys, dishes, counters, tables, etc) about an hour before he comes home (hubby comes home the same time). Before bed, I want the kitchen and dining area cleaned. I don’t want anything on the counters that don't belong, trash emptied, nothing on the table, etc. I prep my coffee pot, fill the teapot up with water for hubby’s tea and get the teabags and Equal out.

Last week on Thursday night I was really tired and thought to myself “Do I really want to pick this stuff up? Does it really matter – I can just do it tomorrow?” So I left it for the next day – I did run the dishwasher though.

When I woke up and saw the mess on the counter and table I immediately got filled with anxiety. I slept in as late as I could (which means 5:15 on days hubby works. lol – I’ve been getting up at 4 – that is as long as I went to bed early enough and didn’t have problems with the kids during the night) and that means once hubby leaves, I want to spend time with God before the kids get up. Which meant I left the dishes in the dishwasher still, which also meant that there are now dishes in the sink. Then my son got up and I hung out with him before school. So here I go after 8:30 or so and I have dishes to do, a dishwasher to empty, garbage to empty, laundry to start and so on. I normally have all this done in the morning. I feel like I brought yesterday into today (well Friday). No, I don’t have to do anything. But I was anxious all day and couldn’t really enjoy myself because of it. So, although I do not have to do any of this stuff at a certain time, I know my days run a whole lot more smoothly when I do. And that is more important to me. And you have to make the decision on what is more important to you!

I got great inspiration from Mr. Crabs on Spongebob (yes…spongebob! Lol)

Squidward was talking about procrastinating…he said something like (can’t remember exactly) “what can be done today can be done tomorrow.”

Mr. Crabs answered with: “What is today than yesterday’s tomorrow?”

Love it!

The time when hubby’s at work and my son are at school, I don't do much cleaning. Unless I have a special project in mind (which has been happening a lot lately) to reorganize something or to tackle a big project, I normally only do cleaning at the times I mentioned above.

So what is my point with all of this?

I may not follow a written schedule, but I do actually have a routine. (I’m sure many of you are now noticing you do as well) I just had to pay more attention. In fact if I don’t follow the routine, I regret it the next day. But I didn’t make this routine up. I didn’t sit down with a piece of paper and decide when and what I’m going to do. My son has been in school for about a month now. It took me a few weeks, but I now fell into another routine. It just happens. For those of you who hate schedules…have you noticed that you fall into your own routines?

If you would like to be able to add a schedule, routine, etc to your homemaking binder (yes, you can have one without having a schedule!! *I* even have a homemaking binder lol) then do what I’m starting to do.

Keep track of those routines you naturally do and start writing them down. Now don’t ADD to them, just write what you ALREADY are doing. And that’s it! How simple! (See – that whole statement was the original meaning of my whole post!!)

So maybe you are asking, "If you hate having a schedule or routine, then why even bother with one? Why is this even important?”

Glad you asked

I really don't care about having one, but I always get convicted when I read about a mom, wife, woman, etc, who ends up sick and/or in the hospital and needs help from others to take care of her house and that woman’s schedule comes to their rescue.

Picture having a relative that doesn't really know how you run things, trying to help out or people helping out from church. They want to help, but there is a good chance they won't know really what to do or how to do it. A schedule or routine (even a very simple one) would be a huge help to these people....even hubby! (especially school and bus times and other appointments!)

So, if you don't use a schedule, but want one written down "just in case," I would put in your home management binder, if you use one, some sort of list of things you do and when you do them. Think of the show Wife the beginning the wife tells the other wife exactly how her days go. You don't have to be that specific (unless you want to). I also recommend writing info on medications, picky eating habits, what quiets little ones, how you do laundry and so on. Just keep in the back of your mind what someone who doesn't know the specifics of your day would need to know. Or, if you were sick in the hospital, write how you would like your house to be run. You won’t be able to do this once you’re there! (Hopefully you’ll never be, but this is just in case…or even if you have the flu and hubby wants to help take over – you’ll have something to show him)

If you clean the toilets every day (especially if you have boys!!!), do you expect that person to do the same?

Even if you already follow a schedule, maybe making another "just in case" section would be a good idea as well.

Just something to think about

I feel I need to say this because someone who is reading this is struggling with this (something God had to show me so I stop losing my mind): THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU IF YOU DON'T CLEAN ALL DAY. Since many people who battle with the same things I do seem to flock to my blog, I just have to put this all out there. You are good at what you do! I’m not saying this with any cockiness or boasting, but I’m good at cleaning and organizing. It took me to be sick for 2 weeks and really be out of commission (and watch the house go to shambles) to realize what it is that I do every day (since I couldn’t do it). It also showed my husband as well. That was the biggest confidence booster. We go through our days doing what we do. Sometimes we don’t even notice ourselves, the things we do. And if you’re melancholy like me, I’m sure that you keep a clean home and you know how to clean it. Of course there will be toys on the floor, and random things on counters and tables, but it doesn’t stay that way 24/7. Satan is after us women to make us feel like we are always doing something wrong. Just because you know other people who follow a schedule diligently and seem to always be cleaning and what not, that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you because you’re not doing that. That person may NEED a schedule to get things done, where you do not. They may seem to always be cleaning, because they don’t have the same routines as you.

I refuse to spend my time during the day cleaning unless there is a specific task I want done (the past couple weeks I have been tackling the basement). I have DEVELOPED habits that have helped me tremendously.

If I’m leaving a room, I take something with me and put it away in the room I’m going in.

During the commercials, or while I’m waiting for something to load, boil, defrost in the microwave, etc – that is when I’ll clean something.

I’ve already told you about how I clean the bathroom (Click HERE for my post titled “How to Never Take Time Out to Clean Your Bathroom”)

I wrote a whole post on cleaning while the Coffee Brews!! – Click HERE for that. And click HERE for another post on multitasking. If you’re in a cleaning rut click HERE.

I’m fed up with how Satan is going after homemakers…yes homemakers!!! He’s trying to not only make us feel unimportant, and worthless, he’s trying to make us think we are horrible at it!! Don’t listen to him! He’s the father of lies and that is exactly what those are…LIES! You are a great homemaker, you are more valuable than you can ever imagine and you are beyond worth it. Don’t EVER let him lie to you about that!

The fact that you are even reading a blog on homemaking (and I’m sure many others) shows you have an interest in learning better ways on being a homemaker. You want to always grow. How can you ever think you’re not good at homemaking? Do you have yellow tape surrounding your house because it’s been condemned? Are your kids starving? Do your floors resemble the scene from Casper after the ghosts were eating breakfast?

I didn’t think so! That would make a horrible homemaker!

And that’s not you!!

I pray God gives us ALL a new perspective on our worth and value as a homemaker!!


Homemaking Challenged said...

Just found your blog and I love it. It is very similar to mine. I am always so hard on myself, and can never get things "perfect". Really enjoyed the schedule post. Thanks for sharing! I'd love for you to check out my blog too.

Pamela said...

Excellent wisdom. I love how you follow your routines to find your schedule.

Angell @ Passionate and Creative Homemaking said...

Thank you ladies!

Bridgette~Honey's Creative Homemaking said...

Nice! I usually hate schedules but this is do able.