God has been busy with me lately. Praise God, He's been healing me of a lot of things that have been hindering my homemaking journey. I have finally been healed from comparing myself to other homemakers, He's shown me that I do NOT operate on a schedule and that is truly okay (I was REALLY bothered that I couldn't), He's also helped and shown me how to just chill out. My youngest will be 3 in July. Let me repeat....THREE! I am still in the mental thought process that he is still the colicky newborn that he used to be. For so long, I had to RUSH through everything that I did because at that point in my life, seconds mattered. But I'm no longer in that season of life. In fact I just realized that in 2 months, I'll be out of the TODDLER life and into the PRESCHOOLER life. Now we are done having kids, so to know that I am truly out of that stage has freed me so much. I've said it on here before, and I'm saying it again...I mean this with no joking or sarcasm...my youngest has traumatized me. But He's healing me from that as well.
Now...recently, God has shown me something that I didn't realize bothered me.
I actually felt GUILTY for being able to be a stay at home mom. No, I didn't feel guilty for the privilege that some women are not able to do this (sometimes I miss work)...but I felt guilty being at home, while hubby is busy working.
When I would sit and crochet, I would think "wow, while I'm enjoying myself...hubby is busy working."
While I'm enjoying reading a book...I would think the same thing and many other activities.
Ever do this?
So then I would wait until his day off to do this because in my crazy mind, I would think that we both had a day off. Yeah...right...that sooooo did not work lol! How many know that when hubby is home it's not really a "day off?" lol! Yes you enjoy him home and all that...but it's definitely not your day off. Have you ever tried to read with him home? Uh huh....can we say more interruptions than the kids?
And then he would say (or have the attitude) why can't you just do this when I'm at work?
Well, because I felt guilty. Satan has been attacking me for years with guilty thoughts.
Then God showed me something through the book, Secrets to Fascinating Womanhood. Here's one thing she said:
Staying home gives
you time to read in the
sunshine, listen to music,
create or play your own
music, enjoy your hobbies
develop your skills,
educate yourself and
mingle with your friends
The author explains that men want to come home to wives that are in a joyful mood. If you can't do anything that you enjoy, because you feel guilty about it, you surely aren't going to be joyful. In fact, there is a good chance you may even be resentful!
This was such a wakeup call for me, it's amazing. I thought to myself...wow, I can take a nap! I rarely take naps because I felt guilty that hubby couldn't take a nap. But then God showed me, I go to bed later than my husband because I'm up with the kids, when I am sleeping I deal with my youngest, and I get up before everyone to make hubby his lunch and breakfast. Why should I feel guilty for napping? I average 5-6 hours of sleep a night and it's not a solid sleep either.
God has definitely healed me in this but He also shows me stuff to confirm it. For example, my husband's father retired about a year or two ago. But he couldn't take it, and went and got a part time job. He has to stay busy. My husband is the same way. He never just sits around and does nothing, unless he is sick. That is his makeup. If he is home for 3 or more days, he can't wait to go back to work.
Men are made for work.The faster we realize that, the faster we'll enjoy our role to the fullest. And if they have a problem with it, realize it's not YOUR fault. Tell him to blame Adam! Yes, Adam! Because Adam wouldn't do his role as the "leader" in their marriage, he let Eve blatantly NOT listen to God so God cursed them. And part of that curse, is men will have to work hard to provide for their families.
One morning I sat outside and read my Bible. I LOVED IT. It was the first time I've done that since we moved in. Are you ready for this? I never did because hubby couldn't do this since he had to go to work. How stupid!
By the way...I was so loving the sunrise I took pictures. Granted it was with my camera phone so it's not the best quality...but here are some pictures of the view from my front yard.
So go do something you enjoy, and truly enjoy it full heartedly. God has given children the easiest role, men have the hardest role, and women have the best role. The more you embrace your role and take it for all the advantages you can, you will be so joyful, you will light up your husband the minute he walks in the door!
The Alabaster Jar, Lowercase letters, The Better Mom, What Joy is Mine, A Mama's Story, Growing Home, Time-Warp Wife, A Pause on the Path, Lessons from Ivy, Cornerstone Confessions,