I have seen this picture on many Christian women type blogs. Why do we like her so much? What is our obsession with these old fashioned English looking woman?
When you think of being feminine, is this what you picture? I mean seriously…is it? Do you think that is realistic?
Now let’s be real for a minute. Picture walking into Starbucks and sitting at a table by the window is THIS woman…looking just like this picture. Would you think she was truly feminine? I don’t know about you, but I personally wouldn’t like her. She looks like an uptight snob in my opinion. I wouldn’t want anything to do with her other than smacking that little bonnet off of her head and yell at her to get the stick out of her rear. But that’s just me.
So let me ask those questions again… When you think of being feminine, is this what you picture? Do you think that is realistic?
One of my favorite books is called “Captivating” by John and Stasi Eldredge. Bare with me…this may take a moment of your time, but it’s worth reading. I highlighted this in my book and underlined it and starred it. Please read it.
“The church has not been a big help here. No, that’s not quite honest enough. The church has been part of the problem. Its message to women has been primarily, “You are here to serve. That’s why God created you” to serve. In the nursery, in the kitchen, on the various committees, in your home, in your community.” Seriously now – picture the women we hold up as models of femininity in the church. They are sweet, they are helpful, and their hair is coiffed; they are busy, they are disciplined, they are composed, and they are TIRED.
“Think about the women you meet at church. They’re trying to live up to some model of femininity. What do they “teach” you about being a woman? What are they saying to us through their lives? Like we said, you’d have to conclude that a godly woman is …tired. And guilty. We’re all living in the shadow of that infamous icon, “The Proverbs 31 Woman” whose life is so busy I wonder, when does she have time for friendships, for taking walks, or reading good books? Her light never goes out at night? When DOES she have sex? Somehow she has sanctified the shame most women live under, biblical proof that yet again we don’t measure up. Is that supposed to be godly – that sense that you are a failure as a woman?
“I know I am not alone in this nagging sense of failing to measure up, a feeling of not being good enough AS A WOMAN. Every woman I’ve ever met feels it – something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she IS. I AM NOT ENOUGH, and I AM TOO MUCH at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy. The result is Shame, the universal companion of women. It haunts us, nipping at our heels, feeding on our deepest fear that we will end up abandoned and alone.
“After all, if we were better women – whatever THAT means – life wouldn’t be so hard. Right? We wouldn’t have so many struggles; there would be less sorrow in our hearts. Why is it so hard to create meaningful friendships and sustain them? Why do our days seem so unimportant, filled not with romance and adventure but with duties and demands? We feel UNSEEN, even by those who are closest to us. We feel UNSOUGHT – that no one has the passion or the courage to pursue us, to get past our messiness to find the woman deep inside. And we feel UNCERTAIN – uncertain what it even means to be a woman; uncertain what it truly means to be feminine; uncertain if we are or ever will be.”
Isn’t that the truth! I have already finished this book, but now after writing this…I am going to reread it lol. But I didn’t read it like I normally read a book. Nope…I turned it into almost a journal. Some pages you can’t even see the color of the page, it is so written on , underlined, highlighted, etc. Maybe some time down the road we’ll read this book together. I highly recommend it. If you battle with your past, or being a woman, or just feeling worthless…I HIGHLY recommend that book.
PRAYER: Lord I lift up every woman reading this to You in Jesus' name. Break this spell Satan has over us women. Whatever is causing it Lord, bring it to our attention so we can fight it off. So many women today feel unimportant, worthless and like they don't matter...even when they are surrounded by those that love them. Lord fill us all with Your unconditional love and give us a revelation of who we are as individuals. Each of us is different and that is how YOU have made us. Help us figure out who we are and help us EMBRACE that. In Jesus name...AMEN.
Time Warp Wife